Baby jokes
What kind of ankle are you? A broken ankle.
What has 4 legs, then 3 legs, then 2 legs, then 1 leg, then no legs?
A baby you cut one off each time.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a baby? The baby is still alive.
I looked at your hairline, and when I saw you, I thought to myself of the last time I was a baby.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to catch some pail of water.
Jack came down, and then Jill came tumbling after, so they had a baby...
If babies stay in their mothers for 9 months, are they not 9 months old when they are born?
What’s the difference between a baby and a beet? Beets stain your teeth.
Q. What do you say when your friend has an abortion?
A. May your baby rest in pieces.
What did the spaghetti say to the sauce? Pasta la vista!
Why are lamps so scared? Because someone might throw them away.
You were born on the highway. That's where most accidents happen.
What's funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clown suit.
Say, Aiden, are you and Gwen dating? Oooo, you and her sitting in a tree, K.I.S.S.I.N.G., then comes the romance, then comes engagement, then comes the wedding, and then the baby! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Then comes cheating and arguments, and then D.I.V.O.R.C.E.!!!!!!!!!!!!
Aiden + Gwen = Husband and wife! HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Girlfriend and boyfriend!!!!!!!!
What's the difference between a dead baby in my trash can and a discarded sex toy?
...
I'm still trying to think of an answer.
What do babies and explosives have in common?
They both make a noise when you throw them.
I'm shidding. Still babies are still coming and going.
What's better than throwing up a stillborn?
Making your wife eat it again.
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is fun to hit with a sledge hammer, and the other is just a watermelon.
What is the difference between eating a baby and a doughnut?
Babies are healthier.
What's the difference between soccer and a dead baby?
I don't wear steel cap boots when I play soccer.