Baby jokes
What's the difference between a dead baby and a slice of pizza?
A dead baby can't feed a family.
Where is the most dangerous place for a human being to be?
In the womb of a woman who wants to abort her unborn baby. 😢
A guy tells his pal, "My wife is expecting. We're going to the clinic to see if it's a girl or a boy."
"Congrats, man. What are you gonna name it if it's a boy?"
"We're going with Trevor."
"Ok, what if it's a girl?"
"Then we'll have an abortion."
One day, Little Johnny came home with his girlfriend and told his dad, "We're gonna go to my room and do some homework." His dad said okay. Five minutes later, Little Johnny's dad heard noises coming from his room, so he went to go see what it was, and all he heard was, "Baby, baby, oh, baby, baby, oh." Little Johnny's dad started banging on the door and said, "Little Johnny, what are you doing in there?" Then Little Johnny said, "Dad, we're just having sex." Then Little Johnny's dad said, "Oh, I thought you were listening to some Justin Bieber up in here."
Give me baby girl names for a pregnant YouTuber.
What is a baby's favorite song?
"Baby" by Justin Bieber.
Ugh, don't you just hate it when you're having sex and your parents walk in the room and say, "No more dead babies for your mister, we are running low!"
So you see all these Baby Yoda memes when you go online, But you have never really seen the show with him.
He is just SOOOO CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A baby skunk's mother gets hit by a car, so the baby skunk doesn't know what he is.
So the baby skunk walks up to a baby bunny and asks, "What are you?" The baby bunny replies, "Well, I'm a baby bunny. What are you?" The baby skunk says, "Well, I don't know, am I a baby bunny too?"
The baby bunny says, "No, you're not a baby bunny." So the baby skunk asks, "Well, what am I then?"
The baby bunny replies, "Well, you're not exactly blank and you're not exactly white, so you must be Mexican."
Jack and Jill went up the hill, had some fun, now they have 4 babies.
What's red and screams when you shake it?
A skinned baby in a bag of salt.
Trying to make a baby talk is like trying to negotiate with North Korea.
How to make the kissing in a tree recognizable: me and you k.i.s.s.i.n.g., tree sitting, wedding, love, then comes love, then comes baby in the carriage, then hate comes, divorce and purse.
FEW!!!!!!!
Baby, here's my anus.
Baby, too, where's my anus?
What is worse: 10 babies stapled to 1 tree, or 1 baby stapled to ten trees?
What’s the best part about putting a baby in a blender feet first?
Watching their expression change.
What do you call a baby potato?
Small fry!
Q: Why did baby shark cross the Pacific Ocean?
A: To find his dad.
This had me wheezing 😂🤣😂🤣
What is love? Baby, don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, no more!
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?
Dark humor is 10 babies in a trash can. Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trash cans.