Baby jokes
If two eagles make a baby and two sparrows make a baby, what makes no baby?
Two swallows.
Why do dead babies cry? Just kidding, they are dead.
What is love? Baby, don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, no more!
Yo mama so old that her breastmilk was powdered. You breastfeed like this 🌬💨.
You should always wash your sex toys. That's why priests baptize babies.
A woman is in the hospital giving birth. The doctor comes up to her afterwards.
Dr: "I'm sorry, I have good news and bad news."
Woman: "What's the bad news?"
Dr: "Your baby is Ginger!"
Woman: "Ok, so what's the good news?"
Dr: "It's dead!"
How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.
What bumps up and down at 100km an hour?
A baby tied to the back of a speeding truck.
Did you know the Bible has a passage about killing babies by smashing them against rocks?
That's probably because microwaves hadn't been invented yet.
I was trying to make homemade baby powder until I realized it isn't made from babies, oops wrong ingredient... smh
Yo mama so fat, COW!
Welcome to Arby's, where your babies become our gravy!
What's even funnier than throwing a baby off a building?
Catching it with a pitchfork.
What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One smashes open when you hit it with a sledgehammer, and the other is a watermelon.
What’s the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby?
Dogs only lick peanut butter off private parts.
Did you hear about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.
One day, a child walks along and asks, "Mother, why am I called Butterfly?"
The mother replies, "A butterfly landed on you as a baby."
A minute later, another child comes along and says, "Mother, why am I called Feather?"
The mother then replied, "Because a feather fell on your head when you were born."
Then Brick comes along and says, "Ahahhsdjsjskxs."
What is red, white, and goes round and round?
A baby in a blender.
What do you call a baby kangaroo? Joey.
What do you call a 6 year old named Joey? Supper.
I'm going to do a song that's called "Falling" by Trevor Daniel... so here it goes.
My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything Talk to me, I need to hear you need me like I need ya Fall for me, I wanna know you feel how I feel for you, love Before you, baby, I was numb, drowned out pain by pouring up Speeding fast on the run, never want to get caught up Now you the one that I'm calling Swore that I'd never fall again, don't think I'm just talking I think I might go all in, no exceptions, girl, I need ya Think I'm out of my mind, 'cause I can't get enough Only one that I give my time, 'cause I got eyes for ya Might make an exception for ya, 'cause I been feeling ya Think I might be out of my mind, I think that you're the one My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything I'll never give my all again 'Cause I'm sick of falling down When I open up and give my trust They find a way to break it down Tear me up inside, and you break me down.