Baby jokes

What did the mom say when her child came out?

"The head was so big!"

Love you baby :^

What's cold, blue and makes women cry?

Cot death.

"Rock-a-bye baby on the treetop, When the wind blows, the baby will drop. Then the baby will lay on the ground, Not moving a muscle, not making a sound."

"Knock knock!"

"Who's there?"

"Baby!"

"Baby who?"

"Do you want to eat this baby that I have prepared?"

"No thanks, I already ate."

What's red all over and spins at 100 mps?

Baby in a blender.

You were born on the highway. That's where most accidents happen.

What’s the difference between cereal and a baby?

I personally think cereal is not nutritious.

You must be from Pearl Harbor, 'cause baby, you're the bomb!

Mom: (Looking through Facebook) How adorable!

Kid: (Looking over her shoulder) What a cute ass!

The kid's mom blushes until she realizes what he was pointing to. It was a picture of a baby donkey.

The real question is, what was she looking at on the same screen that made her blush at that remark?

I congratulated my friend on losing all that baby weight. She started crying and told me I should make them for miscarriage like that......

What do you call a baby Mexican? A paragraph because they aren’t a full essay.

When your baby is stillborn and you have a funeral, what song should you never play?

Alphaville - "Forever Young."

Did you hear about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.

Girls: OMG what color should I use, baby blue, light blue, or navy blue?

Boys: blue is blue.

What's the difference between soccer and a dead baby?

I don't wear steel cap boots when I play soccer.

When you were born, you were so ugly that the doctors slapped your parents!

Yo mama so old that her breastmilk was powdered. You breastfeed like this 🌬💨.

What's the difference between a pair of jeans and an African baby?

A pair of jeans only has 1 fly.

Dead baby jokes never get old...