Baby jokes
What’s the difference between cereal and a baby?
I personally think cereal is not nutritious.
"Knock knock!"
"Who's there?"
"Baby!"
"Baby who?"
"Do you want to eat this baby that I have prepared?"
"No thanks, I already ate."
You can't call yourself a baby boomer if you have never detonated an infant.
How to make white ice cream red... blend a baby into it!
My wife is pregnant, but when we get to the doctors, something happened...
What happened?
Answer: The husband is pregnant too, with someone else’s baby, not the wife’s baby, but the wife is pregnant with his baby.
Memes
if you get this you are a legend
How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.
How do Asian parents name their baby?
They drop a pot down a flight of stairs.
A male unexploded landmine was in love with a female unexploded landmine, and he said to her...
"Hey, baby, we should bang sometime!"
Me: Hi Jacob!
Jacob: Hi.
Me: Your parents went to jail for littering when you were born!
Jacob: GOO GOO GAH GAH
What do you call a parent that is pregnant?
Buy one, get one free.
What is the difference between a baby and a sweet potato?
About 140 calories.
Q: What do you call a baby in a vegetative state?
A: A tater tot.
What do babies and explosives have in common?
They both make a noise when you throw them.
I was trying to make homemade baby powder until I realized it isn't made from babies, oops wrong ingredient... smh
You must be from Pearl Harbor, 'cause baby, you're the bomb!
Mom: (Looking through Facebook) How adorable!
Kid: (Looking over her shoulder) What a cute ass!
The kid's mom blushes until she realizes what he was pointing to. It was a picture of a baby donkey.
The real question is, what was she looking at on the same screen that made her blush at that remark?
I congratulated my friend on losing all that baby weight. She started crying and told me I should make them for miscarriage like that......
Girls: OMG what color should I use, baby blue, light blue, or navy blue?
Boys: blue is blue.
When you were born, you were so ugly that the doctors slapped your parents!
What's the difference between soccer and a dead baby?
I don't wear steel cap boots when I play soccer.