Baby jokes

A baby penguin sat on an iceberg. The baby penguin watched the Titanic sink.

What did the mom say when her child came out?

"The head was so big!"

Love you baby :^

What's cold, blue and makes women cry?

Cot death.

"Rock-a-bye baby on the treetop, When the wind blows, the baby will drop. Then the baby will lay on the ground, Not moving a muscle, not making a sound."

"Knock knock!"

"Who's there?"

"Baby!"

"Baby who?"

"Do you want to eat this baby that I have prepared?"

"No thanks, I already ate."

What's red all over and spins at 100 mps?

Baby in a blender.

You were born on the highway. That's where most accidents happen.

What’s the difference between cereal and a baby?

I personally think cereal is not nutritious.

Mom: (Looking through Facebook) How adorable!

Kid: (Looking over her shoulder) What a cute ass!

The kid's mom blushes until she realizes what he was pointing to. It was a picture of a baby donkey.

The real question is, what was she looking at on the same screen that made her blush at that remark?

I congratulated my friend on losing all that baby weight. She started crying and told me I should make them for miscarriage like that......

When your baby is stillborn and you have a funeral, what song should you never play?

Alphaville - "Forever Young."

Did you hear about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.

Girls: OMG what color should I use, baby blue, light blue, or navy blue?

Boys: blue is blue.

What's the difference between soccer and a dead baby?

I don't wear steel cap boots when I play soccer.

When you were born, you were so ugly that the doctors slapped your parents!

What do you call a baby Mexican? A paragraph because they aren’t a full essay.

Yo mama so old that her breastmilk was powdered. You breastfeed like this 🌬💨.

What's the difference between a pair of jeans and an African baby?

A pair of jeans only has 1 fly.

Dead baby jokes never get old...