Baby jokes
I ate a baby, it tasted like baby.
How do you make a baby survive a fall of over 300 metres?
I don't know. I've dropped dozens off the Empire State Building and none have lived.
How do Taliban parents feed their babies?
"Here comes the plane... weeee, BOOM! 💥"
Why did the baby strawberry cry? Because his mom was in a jam!
Where do babies get baptized?
So the priest can wash their sex toys.
I'd tell a bad baby joke, but I decided to abort.
Mom: Please eat, baby!
Baby: No!
Mom: Here comes the airplane!
I have no dad, no milk, and no mom, so that means no tits, like if you can relate.
What's pink, red, and silver and bumps into walls?
A baby with forks in its eyes.
Moto Moto, stop giving the baby your d*ck!
Q: Why did the baby cross the road?
A: It wasn't in its car seat.
So.. err actually, don’t worry. I was gonna make a joke about dead babies, but I had to abort.
I made a joke about putting babies in the microwave and got told I was a disgusting person.
So from now on I’ll only make baby in the deep fryer jokes.
Huggy Wuggy and Kissy Missy had a baby.
They never gave him a name, so they just played cut the rope with him...
Q: Why did baby shark cross the Pacific Ocean?
A: To find his dad.
This had me wheezing 😂🤣😂🤣
Why can’t the baby cross the road?
Walls.
Have you ever noticed when a woman is pregnant all her friends touch her stomach and say “congrats,” but none of them touch the man’s penis and say “well done?”
Repost
Mom: It's time for sleep.
Baby: Is that what you think, huh?
Mom: *gives baby pacifier*
Baby: Nice try, hobo.
Mom: Well, I'll come back later to see if he's gone asleep.
*few hours later*
Baby: *still awake*
Mom: Why IS HE NOT ASLEEP?!
Baby: Lol, I told you nice try haha.
I know how unicorns make babies. The dad puts his horn in the girl's butt hole.
What time is it when you can smell smoke inside?
Time to get outside!