Baby jokes
Q: How do you make a fire?
A: Oil and dead babies.
1) Did you hear the one about the school shooting? Actually, I better not... You wouldn't understand, it's aimed more towards a younger audience.
2) 6 was scared cuz 7 8 9, so why was 10 scared? Because it was in between 9/11.
3) 10 dead babies.
Ugh, don't you just hate it when you're having sex and your parents walk in the room and say, "No more dead babies for your mister, we are running low!"
Why can’t the baby cross the road?
Walls.
Q. What's the difference between a baby and a bale of straw?
A. I got arrested last time I speared a baby with a pitchfork.
My 2 year old Asian baby cant do calculus Look who in sweatshop now
The baby water bottle said to the mommy water bottle, "Mommy, I lost my teddy bear." The mommy water bottle said, "Why don't you RECAP on what you said?"
What's the difference between Jesus and the baby I have in my basement?
Jesus died a virgin.
My son.
What’s the best part about putting a baby in a blender feet first?
Watching their expression change.
What's the difference between a million dollars and a million dead babies?
I don't have a million dollars laying around my house.
Love you baby :^
I watched the series of "Unfortunate Events" 4 times, all the shows 4 times. I am crying. I am trying to finish the rest, then my brother comes in and says it is PG (Parental Guidance). After that, my brother called me a baby, then he pushed me off my bed. 😭
Wife: “I want another baby.”
Husband: “That’s a relief, I also really don’t like this one!”
What does a baby computer call its father? Data.
Why shouldn’t you do drugs? Weedle make you high.
How can Pikachu make a baby laugh? By playing pika-boo!
Knob Klondike, I want Ellen. Poobiess, please. I want big juicy pobs in me right now. Ellen girl, give milk boob to me with good Pochyy, babie.
What milk do orphan babies drink?
Not their mom's, though.
Asian pregnancy test: Stick a Rubik cube into vagina. Wait 30 seconds, if it's solved then there's a little Asian in there.
What's the difference between a baby and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't scream when I put my meat in it.