Baby jokes
Huggy Wuggy and Kissy Missy had a baby.
They never gave him a name, so they just played cut the rope with him...
I made a joke about putting babies in the microwave and got told I was a disgusting person.
So from now on I’ll only make baby in the deep fryer jokes.
Why can’t the baby cross the road?
Walls.
I know how unicorns make babies. The dad puts his horn in the girl's butt hole.
Q: How do you stop babies from being conceived through incest?
A: Cum on your cousin's face.
How do you make a baby survive a fall of over 300 metres?
I don't know. I've dropped dozens off the Empire State Building and none have lived.
Why did the baby strawberry cry? Because his mom was in a jam!
"What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Catch up!"
I ate a baby, it tasted like baby.
I asked to switch seats on a plane because I was next to a crying baby.
Evidently that doesn't work if the baby is yours.
I don't want to sleep like a baby. I want to sleep like my husband.
Mom: Please eat, baby!
Baby: No!
Mom: Here comes the airplane!
I have no dad, no milk, and no mom, so that means no tits, like if you can relate.
I'd tell a bad baby joke, but I decided to abort.
How do Taliban parents feed their babies?
"Here comes the plane... weeee, BOOM! 💥"
What's Stephen Hawking's other favorite song?
Steve Winwood's "Just Roll with It Baby."
What's the difference between a baby and putty?
You can only eat one.
Q: Why did the baby cross the road?
A: It wasn't in its car seat.
What time is it when you can smell smoke inside?
Time to get outside!
Have you ever noticed when a woman is pregnant all her friends touch her stomach and say “congrats,” but none of them touch the man’s penis and say “well done?”
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