Baby jokes
Why did the baby strawberry cry? Because his mom was in a jam!
"What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Catch up!"
Mom: Please eat, baby!
Baby: No!
Mom: Here comes the airplane!
I have no dad, no milk, and no mom, so that means no tits, like if you can relate.
Where do babies get baptized?
So the priest can wash their sex toys.
I'd tell a bad baby joke, but I decided to abort.
Huggy Wuggy and Kissy Missy had a baby.
They never gave him a name, so they just played cut the rope with him...
I made a joke about putting babies in the microwave and got told I was a disgusting person.
So from now on I’ll only make baby in the deep fryer jokes.
Q: Why did baby shark cross the Pacific Ocean?
A: To find his dad.
This had me wheezing 😂🤣😂🤣
What time is it when you can smell smoke inside?
Time to get outside!
So.. err actually, don’t worry. I was gonna make a joke about dead babies, but I had to abort.
What's pink, red, and silver and bumps into walls?
A baby with forks in its eyes.
Moto Moto, stop giving the baby your d*ck!
You should always wash your sex toys. That's why priests baptize babies.
Why can’t the baby cross the road?
Walls.
I know how unicorns make babies. The dad puts his horn in the girl's butt hole.
Mom: It's time for sleep.
Baby: Is that what you think, huh?
Mom: *gives baby pacifier*
Baby: Nice try, hobo.
Mom: Well, I'll come back later to see if he's gone asleep.
*few hours later*
Baby: *still awake*
Mom: Why IS HE NOT ASLEEP?!
Baby: Lol, I told you nice try haha.
Have you ever noticed when a woman is pregnant all her friends touch her stomach and say “congrats,” but none of them touch the man’s penis and say “well done?”
Repost
What's Stephen Hawking's other favorite song?
Steve Winwood's "Just Roll with It Baby."
What's the difference between a baby and putty?
You can only eat one.