Baby jokes
"What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Catch up!"
I'd tell a bad baby joke, but I decided to abort.
Where do babies get baptized?
So the priest can wash their sex toys.
What's Stephen Hawking's other favorite song?
Steve Winwood's "Just Roll with It Baby."
What's the difference between a baby and putty?
You can only eat one.
Q: Why did the baby cross the road?
A: It wasn't in its car seat.
What time is it when you can smell smoke inside?
Time to get outside!
I asked to switch seats on a plane because I was next to a crying baby.
Evidently that doesn't work if the baby is yours.
I don't want to sleep like a baby. I want to sleep like my husband.
Why did the baby strawberry cry? Because his mom was in a jam!
So.. err actually, don’t worry. I was gonna make a joke about dead babies, but I had to abort.
Mom: Please eat, baby!
Baby: No!
Mom: Here comes the airplane!
I have no dad, no milk, and no mom, so that means no tits, like if you can relate.
How do Taliban parents feed their babies?
"Here comes the plane... weeee, BOOM! 💥"
Moto Moto, stop giving the baby your d*ck!
What's pink, red, and silver and bumps into walls?
A baby with forks in its eyes.
Q: Why did baby shark cross the Pacific Ocean?
A: To find his dad.
This had me wheezing 😂🤣😂🤣
Huggy Wuggy and Kissy Missy had a baby.
They never gave him a name, so they just played cut the rope with him...
I made a joke about putting babies in the microwave and got told I was a disgusting person.
So from now on I’ll only make baby in the deep fryer jokes.
Mom: It's time for sleep.
Baby: Is that what you think, huh?
Mom: *gives baby pacifier*
Baby: Nice try, hobo.
Mom: Well, I'll come back later to see if he's gone asleep.
*few hours later*
Baby: *still awake*
Mom: Why IS HE NOT ASLEEP?!
Baby: Lol, I told you nice try haha.