Baby jokes

I made a joke about putting babies in the microwave and got told I was a disgusting person.

So from now on I’ll only make baby in the deep fryer jokes.

Why can’t the baby cross the road?

Walls.

I know how unicorns make babies. The dad puts his horn in the girl's butt hole.

Q: How do you stop babies from being conceived through incest?

A: Cum on your cousin's face.

Q. What's the difference between a baby and a bale of straw?

A. I got arrested last time I speared a baby with a pitchfork.

How do you make a baby survive a fall of over 300 metres?

I don't know. I've dropped dozens off the Empire State Building and none have lived.

Why did the baby strawberry cry? Because his mom was in a jam!

"What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Catch up!"

I ate a baby, it tasted like baby.

I asked to switch seats on a plane because I was next to a crying baby.

Evidently that doesn't work if the baby is yours.

I don't want to sleep like a baby. I want to sleep like my husband.

Mom: Please eat, baby!

Baby: No!

Mom: Here comes the airplane!

I have no dad, no milk, and no mom, so that means no tits, like if you can relate.

I'd tell a bad baby joke, but I decided to abort.

Where do babies get baptized?

So the priest can wash their sex toys.

How do Taliban parents feed their babies?

"Here comes the plane... weeee, BOOM! 💥"

What's Stephen Hawking's other favorite song?

Steve Winwood's "Just Roll with It Baby."

What's the difference between a baby and putty?

You can only eat one.

Q: Why did the baby cross the road?

A: It wasn't in its car seat.

What time is it when you can smell smoke inside?

Time to get outside!