Baby

Baby Jokes

Anencephaly

I'm okay with giving babies iPads, as long as the baby has anencephaly.

You can't get brain rot if you don't have a brain!

Danielle Smith

Q. What's the difference between Danielle Smith and a baby with anencephaly?

A. The anencephalic baby can't help not having a brain.

Brain

Q. What do Danielle Smith and a baby with anencephaly have in common?

A. Neither of them have a brain.

Corvette

What's the difference between a Corvette and a pile of dead babies?

I don't have a Corvette in my garage.

Anencephaly

I'm so jealous of babies with anencephaly.

They can eat all the ice cream they want and never get brain freezes.

Chicken

What's the difference between a baby and a cooked chicken?

Several hundred calories.

Abortion

I should probably stop making abortion jokes.

After all, the aborted babies aren't laughing.

Lawyer

If a lawyer gives birth to a stillborn baby, is it considered a miscarriage of justice?

Like

Let's try to get to either max likes or dislikes, your choice.

And duck jokes, who would win in a fight, a baby or a pacifist, presented by duck?

Song

What’s someone with AIDS' favorite Taylor Swift song?

"Baby, now we got bad blood."

Difference

What's the difference between a salad and a baby? People don't usually scream when you shake around a salad.

Priest

Where do babies get baptized?

So the priest can wash their sex toys.

Funeral

When your baby is stillborn and you have a funeral, what song should you never play?

Alphaville - "Forever Young."

Bomb

You must be from Pearl Harbor, 'cause baby, you're the bomb!

Sticker

When a "Baby on Board" sticker is a little faded and beat up, you know the kid is at least a year old, and the car is safe to ram.

Wife

Daveon says, "Oh wow, she's so beautiful!" The doctor then says, "Yes, but sadly, your wife didn't make it..." Daveon then states, "Give me the one my wife made then!"