Baby jokes
Did you know the Bible has a passage about killing babies by smashing them against rocks?
That's probably because microwaves hadn't been invented yet.
Little Johnny ran into the kitchen and asked his mother, "Mom, can little girls have babies?" His mom answered, "Of course not." A few minutes later, his mom heard him shout to his friend, "It's okay, we can keep playing!"
So.. err actually, don’t worry. I was gonna make a joke about dead babies, but I had to abort.
Why did the Asian parents have an Asian baby?
Two wongs don't make a white.
Give me baby girl names for a pregnant YouTuber.
I'm still not sure how I'm not in jail or have been fined for littering. When I was born, I was born in a hospital trash can, therefore making me a literal piece of trash. That being said, any time I'm out in public, I'm a piece of litter.
What's the difference between limbs of babies and a dick?
I've never sucked on dicks.
Q. What do rapists fear more than rabies?
A. Rape babies.
This shit is weird (as baby girl pees).
Dad: “Trust me, shitting is weirder.”
What's the difference between soccer and a dead baby?
I don't wear steel cap boots when I play soccer.
What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange?
I don't keep a trash bag full of oranges in my basement.
What's the difference between a baby and a salad?
I'm not in jail for tossing a salad.
Jack and Jill went up the hill, had some fun, now they have 4 babies.
Why shouldn’t you do drugs? Weedle make you high.
How can Pikachu make a baby laugh? By playing pika-boo!
My sister said that I am a baby, so I said, "Waa, waa."
Why don’t babies pollinate flowers?
God chose Plan B.
Wife: “I want another baby.”
Husband: “That’s a relief, I also really don’t like this one!”
What is it called when corn stalks have a baby?
The cream of the crop.
You can't call yourself a baby boomer if you have never detonated an infant.
Want to hear an abortion joke, or any joke for that matter? You have that option, and you can thank your mother for that.
But that's a question that will never be heard by an aborted unborn baby, whose only option was death. And that's no joke.