Baby jokes
You are so ugly when you gave birth to your baby, you gave it carpet burn.
THIS IS A RHYME
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said you know you wanna.
Jill said yes as he grabbed her dress,
and they had a little fun.
Jill forgot her pills so now they have a son.
POV: Someone stole Michael Jackson's baby: "He he stole my bab(y), he he."
How do planets have a baby?
They have spasex.
A hot woman is ready to jump from a bridge and commit suicide when an ugly, stinky homeless man comes up to her and tells her, "Oh baby, you so hot, let's fuck!"
She just yells, "Get the fuck away, you creep!"
He just laughs and says, "Alright, I'll wait down there."
Why are washers better than babies?
Washers don't cry when you put a load in them.
Why is it everyone wants to rub a pregnant woman's stomach but never the man's balls where the baby actually came from and the real ones that deserve the congratulations?
I got in big trouble the other day, though it was pretty unfair. Babies kick pregnant women all the time, and yet I got arrested anyways.
What is the difference between a baby and a canoe?
I would never put a canoe in my garage.
Men built civilisations. Men went to the moon. Men invented the modern comforts of today’s society.
Women did none of those. They are useless, only fit to be baby making machines.
Huggy Wuggy and Kissy Missy had a baby.
They never gave him a name, so they just played cut the rope with him...
Cancer is like your dad. It only comes back when Blueface baby drops a new album.
I looked at your hairline, and when I saw you, I thought to myself of the last time I was a baby.
Love you baby :^
What's the difference between a dead baby in my trash can and a discarded sex toy?
...
I'm still trying to think of an answer.
Abortion is a really touchy subject for me. On one hand, there's dead babies! But on the other hand, women get a choice.
All normal-sized babies are delivered by stork.
Heavier babies are delivered by crane.
Abortion is wrong because God wanted the baby to be alive.
Miscarriages are okay because God did not want the baby to be alive.
Yo mama is so nonverbal that she’s Boss Baby.
I was watching a documentary about how storks carry babies from their previous life to the next.
In his old life, Michael Jackson must’ve been a teddy bear. The storks let him play with kids for a change.