Baby jokes
What's the difference between Jesus and a dead, naked baby?
I don't worship Jesus.
What time is it when you can smell smoke inside?
Time to get outside!
If olive oil is made of olives, then baby oil is made of...
What time do babies get dirty?
Playtime.
Why are lamps so scared? Because someone might throw them away.
Why do dead babies cry? Just kidding, they are dead.
Why are baby elephants so smart? They hang out with friends!
Why are cows 🐮 so big? To scare babies 👶.
What kind of ankle are you? A broken ankle.
How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? More than 40 because my basement is still dark.
Me: I'm sorry, Aaron.
Aaron: Why?
Me: Your parents couldn't be bothered to look past page one in the big book of baby names.
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor? Dark humor would be saying, "ten babies in one trashcan." Morbid humor would be saying, "one baby in ten trashcans."
Why can't two Asians make a white baby?
Because two wongs don't make a white.
What's the difference between a Doberman Pinscher and a Social Worker?
Eventually, you can get a baby back from a Doberman Pinscher.
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One screams when you put it in a blender, and the other one is a cooperative little fruit.
What is one of the worst but funniest incidents ever: a bullet in a baby in a baggy in a barrel in a bus in a nuclear plant were all of the employee's are molesters?
Once upon a time, three babies were born in 2015. She was always crying for 2015. He loves her birth date. 🤗😈🤗🤕🤒no🤗🤑😱😎🙌🙏🙈🙉🙊
Jack and Jill went up the hill to catch some pail of water.
Jack came down, and then Jill came tumbling after, so they had a baby...
What's black and red/read all over? A baby skunk with a bad case of diaper rash!
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?
Dark humor is 10 babies in a trash can. Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trash cans.