Audience jokes
Why did the rapper bring a basketball to the concert?
To drop some SLAM DUNKS on the mic!
Why did the rapper bring a shovel to the concert?
Because he was about to BURY the COMPETITION!
Why did the rapper bring a map to the concert?
To NAVIGATE his way through the CROWD.
Why did the rapper bring a parachute to the concert?
In case his lyrics made the crowd jump!
Why did the rapper become an electrician?
Because he wanted to SHOCK the audience with his RHYMES.
Why don't parents get school shooting jokes? They're aimed at a younger audience.
I wasn't going to tell another emo joke, but I didn't want to leave anyone hanging.
Who would win in a fight, in a boxing ring? Mike Tyson or Helen Keller with a Tommy gun?
Mike Tyson. Helen Keller never heard the bell.
Q: Why are school shooting jokes funny?
A: Because they're intended for a young audience.
Jimmy does stand up comedy. He says, "What do you call an orangutan?"
Jake replies, "YOU!" Then everyone, including the teacher, laughs. Jimmy cries.
LOL
Ever heard of rape jokes?
No?
Well, I'll MAKE you hear 'em!
I just had the worst gig of my life! I told yo mama jokes at the orphanage.
What do you call a terrorist at a cinema?
A box office bomb.
Is it still stand-up comedy if the comedian doesn't have legs?
A magician walks up to a girl and asks her to feel the rabbit in the magician's hat.
The magician asks the girl to rub the rabbit. The girl notices the rabbit sticks up and drools; the hat was covering the hips.
I went to visit my friend who is a stand up comedian and I asked him, "Why do you have so much art supplies, clothing fabrics, and building supplies in your basement?"
He responded with, "I don't know what it is people think I need it all for, but almost every time I perform, people tell me I need new material!"
Worst joke ever: me and my user.
When your friends [are] talking about sports:
Jake says, "It was 17.56M people watching [the] basketball championship."🦁
Sam says, "It was 113M people watching the Super Bowl." 😯🐱
Avion says, "It was up from 1.12 billion people watching [the] World Cup." 😶🙀
This song is sus, because I’m happy. Clap along if you feel like happiness is the root. What are you clapping?
I don't understand why people hate it when they hear a dad joke. They are actually pretty funny, and I will show you Y. (shows a picture of the letter Y)