Audience jokes

Once I was in South Korea doing stand up comedy... and I started with a "hidden" joke and I said: "I'm so happy to be here in one of the most beautiful Korea's in the world..." which is a good joke but they didn't get it, and they looked at me badly... so I said "I'm here in the South which is more beautiful... South good, North booooooo." But still nothing, they kept glaring at me... then I realized that maybe I was in the wrong Korea.

I would say a 9/11 joke, but it wouldn't land well.

Hi guys, so today I have not thought of a joke, and I'm not really sure what to do, so I thought I would do kinda a blog sort of thing, so hope you enjoy, and you don't have to read this!

So I woke up this morning and heard this weird noise, and it was my dad building me a new gymnastics bar so I can have uneven bars, which I am so excited about! And I am so glad that you guys have been nice and liking my jokes and stuff, but also, make sure to comment below if you want to tell me what kind of jokes you want and what you want me to do, and also, feel free to talk to me! Love y'all!!!

I was at a concert in the front row, and I shouted something to the band's guitarist. He took it the wrong way and responded: "I'm going to go down there and hit you with my guitar!"

And I replied: "Is that a death fret?"

I want to make a joke about Kobe, but it won't land well.

An orphan went on a game show.

The host looked at him and said, "You can't play, this is Family Feud."

I was gonna do a school shooter joke, but it was aimed at younger audiences.

I don’t like to tell school shooter jokes because they are usually aimed at a younger audience.

You really can't call Stalin bad. Just think about the people that wanted to die.

I might have to back down on this because it is usually aimed for little children.

Think everyone who wrote these jokes are dead yet?

I went to a stand up show with the person who made my life a joke.

Want to know why parents don't get school shooting jokes?

Because they are aimed at a younger audience.

Why can't an orphan play Family Feud? Because it has to have a family.

Q: What do the St. Louis Rams and Billy Graham have in common?

A: They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell, “Jesus Christ.”

I can hear the whole world booing me.

I don't get why people don't like my abortion jokes. Do they have a stick up their ass? Wait, that's the other hole.

A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "uno, dos..." *poof* ... He disappeared without a tres.

People might not laugh at my jokes, or have a reaction at all, but I'd explode with euphoria.

Periodically, people might laugh every now and then.

What did the Ford Mustang say to the crowd of innocent people?

I'D HIT THAT!