Audience jokes
A blind comedian was asked to do stand up for a hospital. No one laughed at his jokes, so he continued to sing, "If you're happy and you know it..." The room was full of arm amputees.
If you are going to make fun of someone, make fun of orphans. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
Double whammy.
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer, it never gets old.
Q: What’s the difference between me and you?
A: I’m not wasting my time reading this joke.
Pedophile: You dropped your candy.
Girl: Thanks!
Pedophile stares as she slowly bends over to pick up her candy.
Pedophile: It looks a bit dirty, do you wanna come back to my house and get a new one?
Girl: How far is your house?
Pedophile: It's that white one right over there.
Girl: You mean that van next to a dumpster?
Pedophile: Yep, it's that one.
Girl:.... Sure! :P
Audience:.........Dumbass girl.
Stephen Hawking tried comedy.
His first line ruined it. "You know what I can't stand? Let me rephrase that, you know what? I can't stand."
Dark humor is a lot like food.
Not everyone gets it.
When other people tell a joke, 3/3 people laugh.
When I tell a joke, 1/3 people laugh, but 2/3 people stare into my soul.
Any joke can be funny with the right delivery. Except abortion jokes, because there is no delivery.
I don't think anyone even checks these jokes.
Why are theaters popular among cows?
They enjoy watching moovies.