Audience jokes

I was a sit-down comedian, then I tried to stand up. I fell.

I wished I stayed in the wheelchair.

I told a joke about miscarriage to a group of women, but none of them laughed.

I guess it was a bad delivery.

I have a joke about time travel, but I'm not gonna share it. You guys didn't like it.

Everyone stop making 9/11 jokes; they just don't fly.

Hi everyone, today I am taking requests for anything you want me to say.

Did you hear about that musical that was sung by some obsidian?

It rocked!

If this gets 10 comments (I don't care about likes) I will write a four page essay and post it, and it's up to you guys what it's about.

Joke start.

Punchline!

What did the suicidal guy say to his audience?

What did the suicidal guy say to his audience?

I was doing a magic show. I tried to make a bunny disappear, but it didn’t work.

I walked outside in shame. I looked up and realised the towers had disappeared!!!!

I think Paul Walker and 9/11 jokes are great, but when I tell them to others, they tend to crash and burn.

I would tell a Biden joke except everyone would not stop falling asleep (including him).

When you went to an ugly competition, the judges said, "No professionals allowed."

*walks into a comedy night club* Owner: "You're doing standup tonight, right?" Noob Joker (you): "Yes, I am!" Owner: "Get onto the stage." Me: *walks up stage* Owner: "This is the standup comedian noobpro." Me: "Hey guys, how about some Donald Trump?" Crowd: *RUNS*

Why was the emo kicked out of the circus?

Because he was cutting in line!

Two magicians were in a competition. The first one did magic, and the second started counting down, "3, 2," but before he said the last number, he 1.

Lol, these jokes have been heard millions of times.

When a cookie 🍪 wins a race, what will the crowd say?

“Chip Chip Hooray!”

Did anyone get my joke? It probably flew over your heads, oops I meant through.

You failed Helen Keller's speech class? It's okay, she's not a very good speaker.