Audience jokes
I told a joke about miscarriage to a group of women, but none of them laughed.
I guess it was a bad delivery.
I have a joke about time travel, but I'm not gonna share it. You guys didn't like it.
Everyone stop making 9/11 jokes; they just don't fly.
Hi everyone, today I am taking requests for anything you want me to say.
Did you hear about that musical that was sung by some obsidian?
It rocked!
If this gets 10 comments (I don't care about likes) I will write a four page essay and post it, and it's up to you guys what it's about.
Joke start.
Punchline!
What did the suicidal guy say to his audience?
What did the suicidal guy say to his audience?
I was doing a magic show. I tried to make a bunny disappear, but it didn’t work.
I walked outside in shame. I looked up and realised the towers had disappeared!!!!
I think Paul Walker and 9/11 jokes are great, but when I tell them to others, they tend to crash and burn.
I would tell a Biden joke except everyone would not stop falling asleep (including him).
When you went to an ugly competition, the judges said, "No professionals allowed."
*walks into a comedy night club* Owner: "You're doing standup tonight, right?" Noob Joker (you): "Yes, I am!" Owner: "Get onto the stage." Me: *walks up stage* Owner: "This is the standup comedian noobpro." Me: "Hey guys, how about some Donald Trump?" Crowd: *RUNS*
Why was the emo kicked out of the circus?
Because he was cutting in line!
Two magicians were in a competition. The first one did magic, and the second started counting down, "3, 2," but before he said the last number, he 1.
Lol, these jokes have been heard millions of times.
When a cookie 🍪 wins a race, what will the crowd say?
“Chip Chip Hooray!”
Did anyone get my joke? It probably flew over your heads, oops I meant through.
You failed Helen Keller's speech class? It's okay, she's not a very good speaker.
1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon.
3. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.”
4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
5. What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river.
6. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils.
7. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope.
8. How does the ocean say hello? It waves.
9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
10. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.
11. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, “mini-soda”).
12. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
13. Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff.
14. Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.
15. Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball.
16. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.
17. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.