Asked jokes

This kid was crying, so I asked him where his parents were. He just cried harder. I still remember him every time I pass that orphanage.

Some guy asked me, "Are you better than my meat?" I said, "No, I'm not better, I just beat it all the time."

I asked a man if I was the fastest gun in the west. He said my 17 wasn't good enough. After that, a lot of lead went into his head.

I think about my life, and then I think about death. I prefer death. If you ask me, life is just a time when you die. Basically, death is life, meaningless 0-0.

When you ask an orphan to come over:

Kid: "Do you want to come over to my house?"

Orphan: "Yeah, sure."

Kid: "Ok, ask your parents—oh wait."

I asked my mom what her biggest regret was for a project at school, and she said, "Oh, go look in the bathroom above the sink..." There was a mirror.

Life asked death, "Why do people choose you over me?"

Death replied, "Because you're the beautiful lie, and I'm the painful truth."

I saw a kid crying and asked him where his parents were. He started crying harder.

The ungrateful brat. I see why he is an orphan.

"When someone asks for a dad joke and you send them to the orphan page."

Some guy interviewed me and asked how it felt to kill thousands of people. I replied, “I don’t know. I’ve only killed communists.”

I asked an American if their national anthem was "Pumped Up Kicks."

My friend playing truth or dare asked me: "Dare".

My friends: "I dare you to go home."

Michael J. Fox walks into an ice cream parlor.

The man behind the counter asks Michael, "Can I help you?"

Michael exclaims, "I would like an ice cream."

The man behind the counter asks, "What flavor?"

Michael says, "It doesn't matter what flavor, I'm gonna fucken drop it anyway."

What did the South Tower ask the North Tower?

If someone says nobody asked, you could say, "Well, nobody asked for you to talk!"

Why are natives called redskins? Idk, ask the pilgrims 😂

Do you know why boys can't ask girls out? Because they don't have any balls to ask girls out!

When an emo asks you to hang out under a tree...

NASA stands for "Nobody asks scientists anymore."

A girl with no arms and one leg goes to her mother and asks: "Mom, next year for the carnival, can I dress up as a princess?"

The mother replies: "Why? Didn't you like the ice lolly dress from last year?"