Asked jokes

Orphan: Can I go outside?

Coworker at orphanage: Go ask your mom.

Orphan: WAWAWAWAWAW

A man went hunting with his son and shot an animal.

The father asks the son to identify the animal he just shot, and the son answers: "Holy Cow!"

Father: "What do you mean, 'Holy Cow?'"

Son: "You shot a hole in the cow, of course!"

I went to a tall girl and I asked her, "What do you do for a living?" She says, "An account." So I reply with, "An accounting the hairs on people's heads," and then I run away.

Some guy came to me and said, "I'm your dad's friend. He asked me to pick you up."

*Laughing freaking hard* and told him, "Did you dig the grave?"

The bell rings, and Ana was about to leave, but the teacher said, "The bell doesn't dismiss you, I do."

The next day, Ana was late, and the teacher asked, "Why are you late?" Ana replied with, "The bell doesn't tell me when I should arrive, I do."

Can I ask you a question? Nut now!

A friend asked what an acorn is.

I said, “In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.”

Once I was asked to perform snail jokes at a stand-up comedy night. I certainly snailed it because the crowd thought it was shellerious.

I can't believe what just happened. I was at the bowling alley having a great time with my girlfriend when suddenly a man took all of our bowling pins! I asked him why and he said he needed more tapins to keep his career relevant. I instantly realized it was Penaldo!

This kid was crying, so I asked him where his parents were. He just cried harder. I still remember him every time I pass that orphanage.

Some guy asked me, "Are you better than my meat?" I said, "No, I'm not better, I just beat it all the time."

I asked a man if I was the fastest gun in the west. He said my 17 wasn't good enough. After that, a lot of lead went into his head.

I think about my life, and then I think about death. I prefer death. If you ask me, life is just a time when you die. Basically, death is life, meaningless 0-0.

When you ask an orphan to come over:

Kid: "Do you want to come over to my house?"

Orphan: "Yeah, sure."

Kid: "Ok, ask your parents—oh wait."

I asked my mom what her biggest regret was for a project at school, and she said, "Oh, go look in the bathroom above the sink..." There was a mirror.

Life asked death, "Why do people choose you over me?"

Death replied, "Because you're the beautiful lie, and I'm the painful truth."

I saw a kid crying and asked him where his parents were. He started crying harder.

The ungrateful brat. I see why he is an orphan.

"When someone asks for a dad joke and you send them to the orphan page."

Some guy interviewed me and asked how it felt to kill thousands of people. I replied, “I don’t know. I’ve only killed communists.”

I asked an American if their national anthem was "Pumped Up Kicks."