Asked jokes

The bell rings, and Ana was about to leave, but the teacher said, "The bell doesn't dismiss you, I do."

The next day, Ana was late, and the teacher asked, "Why are you late?" Ana replied with, "The bell doesn't tell me when I should arrive, I do."

Once I was asked to perform snail jokes at a stand-up comedy night. I certainly snailed it because the crowd thought it was shellerious.

I can't believe what just happened. I was at the bowling alley having a great time with my girlfriend when suddenly a man took all of our bowling pins! I asked him why and he said he needed more tapins to keep his career relevant. I instantly realized it was Penaldo!

A doctor walks into his office and looks his patient in the eyes, "Sir, you have to stop jerking off."

The man asks, "Why?"

The doctor then says, "Because I'm trying to examine you."

At school in a classroom, the teacher asked the kid, “If you have one dollar and your parents give you five dollars, how much do you have?” Everyone raised their hand except one little girl.

My son's into astromancy asked me how do stars die, so I told him, "Usually on overdose, son."

My wife and I were out to dinner and the waitress started flirting with me.

"She obviously has COVID," my wife said.

"Why?" I asked.

My wife replied with a sneer, "Because she has no taste!"

I saw an orphan on the road. I asked him if he's an orphan. The kid says, "Yeah, what gave it away?"

I say, "Your parents."

Being asked for advice after a failed suicide attempt:

"What advice do you have for people out there?"

As a suicide professional, don't try this at home.

Why can't orphans fail a test?

Because the teacher is gonna ask their parents to sign it.

One day, during lunch, a Spanish kid came up to my other friend and asked her questions in Spanish, and when she was about to say something, I popped out and said, “GO AWAY OR I WILL SUE YOU WITH BRIANNA’S SEVEN/7 LAWYERS!!!!(AKA, her seven/7 shoes.)”

Why did the cop ask the orphan if he was home alone?

The orphan said because my parents have never come back yet because I have none.

Orphans around my area only watched Youtube Shorts.

I asked them and then realized they can't click the home button.

I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, and they got excited and asked if I could drive a B-52.

Orphan: Can I go outside?

Coworker at orphanage: Go ask your mom.

Orphan: WAWAWAWAWAW

Yo mamma so fat, she asked for a water bed, and they put a blanket over the Atlantic Ocean.

One day, a man visited an orphanage.

Then he sees a kid crying. The man asked, "Where are your parents?"

The kid cries even harder.

My son asked for a swimming pool so I got him a ant 🐜🐜🐜 pool.

Your mama is so fat, when she stepped on the scale the doctor asked for her weight, not her phone number.

When an American goes on a scale, the other person will say, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number!"