Asked Jokes

A doctor walks into his office and looks his patient in the eyes, "Sir, you have to stop jerking off."

The man asks, "Why?"

The doctor then says, "Because I'm trying to examine you."

A girl with no arms and one leg goes to her mother and asks: "Mom, next year for the carnival, can I dress up as a princess?"

The mother replies: "Why? Didn't you like the ice lolly dress from last year?"

At school in a classroom, the teacher asked the kid, “If you have one dollar and your parents give you five dollars, how much do you have?” Everyone raised their hand except one little girl.

Life asked death, "Why do people choose you over me?"

Death replied, "Because you're the beautiful lie, and I'm the painful truth."

The other day my girlfriend asked me to hand her the red lipstick, so I handed her the dog.

imagine having a mom

The image is divided into two columns, the left side says "To Mom:" and lists several needs and questions commonly asked by children such as "I'm hungry...", "Where are you?", "Can you help me...". On the right side, it says "To Dad:" and below that "Where's Mom?"

Bf: Babe, do you love me?

Gf: Of course, why do you ask?

Bf: I heard that your mom passed away, and I went to pick some roses for you to try to cheer you up, and then I remembered why I went to the garden.

I was walking home, then I saw a "Wait" sign. A man came and took me. I'm still waiting for him to ask for a lesson.

When someone says "Did I ask?" say "Then why did you respond?"

There was a fire at my high school when I was in Year 7.

When the local newspaper interviewed my teacher, they asked her how she was seeing the "bright side" of it.

She said, "Well, at least our new students got a warm welcome!"

54 students died that day.

One day I asked my mom where kids came from. She said the man who went to the milk store.

Five years later, he came back and left again.

A teacher says to her class one day, "Whoever answers my next question can go home."

A boy throws his bag out the window.

The teacher asks, "Who just threw that?"

The boy says, "Me! I’m going home now."

A guy entered a library and wanted to get some books to read. He was searching across the books, and the librarian asked him,

Librarian: What are you looking for?

Man: I am looking for a book!

Librarian: Which book?

Man: Facebook.

Mary has a house near a forest. She lives with her bro, and she once asked, "How many trees are there?" Her bro said: "I don't know." She said: "Tree."

A kid asks Trump:

Kid: "Where are the confidential files?"

Trump: "There they are, bud!"

This was a few months ago. I used to help people load and unload inventory. One day I’m driving home after having lunch with my sister, and she asked if we can stop at the next gas station. I told her, "So you can weigh yourself on the truck scale?"