Asked jokes

I asked a man if I was the fastest gun in the west. He said my 17 wasn't good enough. After that, a lot of lead went into his head.

When you ask an orphan to come over:

Kid: "Do you want to come over to my house?"

Orphan: "Yeah, sure."

Kid: "Ok, ask your parents—oh wait."

My wife is so fat.

She asked me to get on top; I had to get a step ladder. When I got up there, my ears popped, and the air was so thin. I had to have two Sherpas drag me off the mountain.

I asked the Titanic an icebreaker question.

It couldn't answer.

Asking for a friend, could anyone please tell me how to politely ask a question for a friend?

Why did the cop ask the orphan if he was home alone?

The orphan said because my parents have never come back yet because I have none.

Orphans around my area only watched Youtube Shorts.

I asked them and then realized they can't click the home button.

Today, I asked my phone "Siri" why am I still single, and it activated the front camera.

My wife told me she was fat and depressed. She asked me to compliment her, so I said, "You have perfect eyesight!"

I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, and they got excited and asked if I could drive a B-52.

One day, during lunch, a Spanish kid came up to my other friend and asked her questions in Spanish, and when she was about to say something, I popped out and said, “GO AWAY OR I WILL SUE YOU WITH BRIANNA’S SEVEN/7 LAWYERS!!!!(AKA, her seven/7 shoes.)”

One day, a man visited an orphanage.

Then he sees a kid crying. The man asked, "Where are your parents?"

The kid cries even harder.

My son asked for a swimming pool so I got him a ant 🐜🐜🐜 pool.

Yo mamma so fat, she asked for a water bed, and they put a blanket over the Atlantic Ocean.

Why can't orphans fail a test?

Because the teacher is gonna ask their parents to sign it.

My friend playing truth or dare asked me: "Dare".

My friends: "I dare you to go home."

Michael J. Fox walks into an ice cream parlor.

The man behind the counter asks Michael, "Can I help you?"

Michael exclaims, "I would like an ice cream."

The man behind the counter asks, "What flavor?"

Michael says, "It doesn't matter what flavor, I'm gonna fucken drop it anyway."

If someone says nobody asked, you could say, "Well, nobody asked for you to talk!"

You're walking one day and a little kid, about 5-6 years old, comes up to you asking, "What's a condom?" You have to give that child the wrong answer, what would you tell them? Comment on what you would tell them.

Some guy came to me and said, "I'm your dad's friend. He asked me to pick you up."

*Laughing freaking hard* and told him, "Did you dig the grave?"