Asked jokes
How do you stun a Scotsman?
Ask them to say "purple burglar alarm".
Why don't orphans like getting lost?
Because if people find them, they ask, "Where are your parents?"
What did one sperm say to the other while swimming side by side?
One turns to the other and asks, "How much further to the fallopian tubes?"
The other says, "I’m not sure, we just passed the esophagus."
Asking for a friend, could anyone please tell me how to politely ask a question for a friend?
I asked a European what do you call Karens in your country? He said, "American women."
I was asked to design a website for an orphanage, so I decided to design it without the home page.
Me when people ask how old my girlfriends are:
"There's 2, there're 4, there're 6, there're 8."
When an American goes on a scale, the other person will say, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number!"
I went to school on a Saturday. My teacher asked why I am here, so I replied that my brother told me to go to hell.
One day, a man visited an orphanage.
Then he sees a kid crying. The man asked, "Where are your parents?"
The kid cries even harder.
My son asked for a swimming pool so I got him a ant 🐜🐜🐜 pool.
I saw a kid crying, sitting on the sidewalk, and I asked him where his parents were. He then cried even more. God, I love working at the orphanage.
Yo mama so fat when someone asked her to touch her chin, she asked, "Which one?"
My wife asked me the other day where I got so much candy. I said, "I always have a few Twix up my sleeve."
I asked my wife if I was the only one she slept with. She said yes—the others were 7's and 8's.
At the job interview, they asked me, “Where do you see yourself in five years?”
I told him, “I think we’ll still be using mirrors in five years.”
One day, during lunch, a Spanish kid came up to my other friend and asked her questions in Spanish, and when she was about to say something, I popped out and said, “GO AWAY OR I WILL SUE YOU WITH BRIANNA’S SEVEN/7 LAWYERS!!!!(AKA, her seven/7 shoes.)”
Why did the cop ask the orphan if he was home alone?
The orphan said because my parents have never come back yet because I have none.
When you ask for plastic surgery, they said, "We could not fix you, but the only way is to wear a mask to fix your ugly face."
Why can't orphans fail a test?
Because the teacher is gonna ask their parents to sign it.