Asked jokes

My friend playing truth or dare asked me: "Dare".

My friends: "I dare you to go home."

Michael J. Fox walks into an ice cream parlor.

The man behind the counter asks Michael, "Can I help you?"

Michael exclaims, "I would like an ice cream."

The man behind the counter asks, "What flavor?"

Michael says, "It doesn't matter what flavor, I'm gonna fucken drop it anyway."

What did the South Tower ask the North Tower?

If someone says nobody asked, you could say, "Well, nobody asked for you to talk!"

Why are natives called redskins? Idk, ask the pilgrims 😂

Do you know why boys can't ask girls out? Because they don't have any balls to ask girls out!

When an emo asks you to hang out under a tree...

NASA stands for "Nobody asks scientists anymore."

A girl with no arms and one leg goes to her mother and asks: "Mom, next year for the carnival, can I dress up as a princess?"

The mother replies: "Why? Didn't you like the ice lolly dress from last year?"

When someone says "Did I ask?" say "Then why did you respond?"

Bf: Babe, do you love me?

Gf: Of course, why do you ask?

Bf: I heard that your mom passed away, and I went to pick some roses for you to try to cheer you up, and then I remembered why I went to the garden.

One day I asked my mom where kids came from. She said the man who went to the milk store.

Five years later, he came back and left again.

I was walking home, then I saw a "Wait" sign. A man came and took me. I'm still waiting for him to ask for a lesson.

There was a fire at my high school when I was in Year 7.

When the local newspaper interviewed my teacher, they asked her how she was seeing the "bright side" of it.

She said, "Well, at least our new students got a warm welcome!"

54 students died that day.

The other day my girlfriend asked me to hand her the red lipstick, so I handed her the dog.

A guy entered a library and wanted to get some books to read. He was searching across the books, and the librarian asked him,

Librarian: What are you looking for?

Man: I am looking for a book!

Librarian: Which book?

Man: Facebook.

Mary has a house near a forest. She lives with her bro, and she once asked, "How many trees are there?" Her bro said: "I don't know." She said: "Tree."

A teacher says to her class one day, "Whoever answers my next question can go home."

A boy throws his bag out the window.

The teacher asks, "Who just threw that?"

The boy says, "Me! I’m going home now."

Two fish in a bowl. First fish asks, "Haven't I seen you around here before?"

The second fish replies, "F**k me, a talking fish!"

"I hear you asking, 'What's your favorite instrument?' The Trombone."