Asked jokes

I asked my dad, "Are we there yet?" and he told me, "Don't worry, son, it will be a short ride!"

Guy: Hi, how was your day today?

Woman: Good!

Guy: *Well I can’t ask her out cause she’s pregnant*

Guy: How many months pregnant are you?

Woman: What to you mean?!?! Also, I’m not pregnant.

When you ask your friend, "Can I hear a joke?"

"Sure."

"What do orphans and orange peels have the same?"

"What?"

"They both get thrown out."

I remember asking my mum: "What's a couple?"

She replied, "Two or three."

Which probably explains her collapsed marriage.

My friend asked me if bees can fly in the rain. I replied, "Not without their yellow jackets."

What do you say to your customer at a popsicle stand when he asks for the price?

Dollar a pop!

Get it?

I had a new "blonde parts expert" woman call for parts. I needed 2 ought wire for a job. She calls NAPA auto and asks for twat wire. The parts guy was assuming she didn't know about Planned Parenthood? .. 😂🤣

So, an orphan walked into a store. He gets lost and the store clerk asked, "Do you need help finding your parent?" and the orphan ran out crying.

Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road.

So I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?”

I've asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far, no one has given me a straight answer.

I told my friend that there was a tree. On that tree, there were four black chickens. I asked how many beaks do the chickens have. He said four.

Then I said there was a white cat. How many teeth does it have? He couldn't answer, so I said, "Looks like you know more about black cocks than white pussy."

I was in class doing sex education. We were learning about sexual stereotypes.

My teacher turns to the class and asks, "If anyone could tell him what a sexual stereotype was?"

So I raised my hand and said, "Asians have small penis." He looked at me and said, "Very good, but I was looking for a definition."

Some moving men had just begun their day's work.

The first thing they brought into the house was a huge couch.

The owner came in and asked how everything was going. They replied, "Sofa so good."

So, a neutron went to a bar. He asked the bartender how much for a beer. The bartender said, "For you, no charge."

So a kid asks his dad, "Why was I born?"

The dad replies, "I thought that girl was dead!"

So a man asked another man, "What's your name?"

He says, "What's it to ya?"

So the guy asked again, "And he says what's it to ya?"

Come to find out his name was What's It To Ya.

Someone asked me what the lines on my wrist were from. I answered, "My cat has OCD."

I once saw an orphan... I decided to ask them a simple question... "Hey! Where is your family?"

They didn't reply.

I kept asking them. They started crying. I started laughing. They ran away...

I saw a kid crying today. I asked him where his parents were.

I love working at an orphanage.

I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were.

Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.