When you walk out of a rock concert
bruce
@bruce
I'm cool
Is this guy from Earth?
Yo mamma is so ugly when she tried to join an ugly contest they said, "Sorry, no professionals."
Yo momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."
Yo mama so fat that when she went into a crowd wearing a blue shirt, everyone yelled, "Tsunami!"
The perfect way to eavesdrop
What's the difference between a piano and a fish? You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish.
Q: What's the best way to carve wood?
A: Whittle by whittle.
When you start middle school
Q: Why can't orphans be gay?
A: They have no one to call "daddy."