Yo mamma is so ugly when she tried to join an ugly contest they said, "Sorry, no professionals."
Yo momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."
Yo mama so fat that when she went into a crowd wearing a blue shirt everyone yelled tsunami!
What's the difference between a piano and a fish? You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish.
Q: What's the best way to carve wood? A: Whittle by whittle.
Q: Why can't orphans be gay? A: They have no one to call daddy