Last time i talked to my girlfriend, she was yelling at me to put the hammer down.
My girlfriend told me to stop playing Pokemon as it was childish.
I started thrashing about and roared “You don’t have enough badges to control me!”
what's the difference between a feminist and a knife? one has a point.
What do you call a fruit that argues against the position it supports?
The Devil's advocado.
Why did the cow not want to talk to the other cow? because they had beef with eachother
My ex-boyfriend threatened to kill me because I was suicidal. I wanted to tell him “well can we get what we both want?” “ I was already planning on dying anyway.”
John and Chloe are in school arguing about who has the more heroic grandfather. Chloe says "My grandfather killed 50 Nazis, he's so heroic" John says "So what? My grandfather KILLED Hitler"
My mom tells me and my sister to stop fighting mom! you and dad need to stop!
Two boys were arguing in class one day when the teacher walked in to the classroom. The teacher asked them, "Why are you arguing?"
One of the boys replied, "We found a ten dollar bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie."
"You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher. "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was."
The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.
“You da bomb!” “No, you da bomb!”
In the US, a compliment. In the Middle East, an argument.
What did the sand say when it got into a fight with the ocean?
"oh my God, you're such a beach"
What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman?
Wait, I can explain everything!
I hate it when a couple has a minor quarrel, and the girlfriend updates her Facebook status to ‘single.’ I mean, I fight with my parents all the time, but I never update my status to ‘orphan.’
Mom asks “Why are you are THIS show??? It’s DISTRACTING you from SCHOOL!!!!!” The child says “Don’t you mean SCHOOL is distracting ME from this AWESOME show?” Mon whispers “Oh, you DEAD.”
A man was hitting a woman with his d*ck. Someone ran up to the man and said “THATS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE” the man replied with “no, it’s not domestic violence it’s DUMBASS-D*CK VIOLENCE”
Why is it okay for a woman to use me when she feels like it but when I use her body when I feel like it I am the bad guy?
its like your hairline and your forehead had a disagreement
We split because she used always say I never listen, or something like that
Two friends are arguing and one friend says ̈Jason Warhis is not afraid of water and not ifs ands or buts about it ̈ and the other friend says ̈Butt He is ̈.
My mom told me ̈YOU SON OF A B!TCH. ̈ i told her ̈i may be a son of a b!ch butat least i am not the bitch ̈. she hated me forever.
