Argument jokes

I don't understand those couples that fight and a minute later change their Facebook status to single.

I fight with my parents, but you don't see me change my status to "Orphan."

I always win arguments against my handicapped girlfriend; she can't stand for herself.

Husband: Dammit, Alice! I'm your husband, and I'm telling you that you better stay in this kitchen if you know what's good for you!

Wife: Go to hell, Bob! I'm leaving!

Ignoring my protective advice, Alice stormed out of our underground kitchen, even though it was the safest place to be while the nuclear war still raged outside.

A random guy yelled at me, "Hey, slut!"

I walked towards him.

"I prefer slit," I said.

"Why?" He asked.

"You see these wrists?" I spat at him.

How do you get your appeal for rape charges accepted? Say you were expressing your desire for a woman, which is protected under the Constitution in freedom of expression.

This anorexic girl wanted to fight me. I told her that I would roast her, but she didn't have any meat.

My wife accused me of being immature, so I kicked her out of my "boys fort."

My wife is mad that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and went right.

How do you end an argument with an emo? Kick the chair.

Two friends fighting.

Friend 3: "Cut it out, you two!"

Friend 4: "It wouldn't help if they cut it out... Believe me... I've tried..."

You and your sister always get into a fight and she says, "I don't care." Then you say right away, "About you!"

The north and south towers got into an argument.

The south tower said, "We will talk about this when we are on the ground."

How do you break up a fight between two gay men?

Say, "Can you get straight to the point?"

What's the fastest way to stop an argument between a bunch of deaf people?

Just switch off the lights.

How do you really piss off your girlfriend while having sex?

Call her on the phone.

Also gehen Addison, Gwen und Bradley alle in eine Bar. Dann schreien sie alle an, sie sollen aufhören, Bier zu trinken, weil sie es nicht mögen. Dann schreien sie den Barkeeper an und sagen, er solle das Bier nicht verkaufen, weil sie es nicht mögen. Die Kunden lachen sie als Paviane aus.

Was machen Addison, Gwen und Bradley? Sie kommen auf diese Seite und argumentieren, dass Witze zu gemein sind, und weil sie sie nicht mögen, stoppen sie jeden, der sie als WITZ macht. Das Ende.

What can you tell a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing that you haven't told her twice already.

My dad told me and my sister to stop arguing, so I threw her out the window instead.

Why is it okay for a woman to use me when she feels like it, but when I use her body when I feel like it, I am the bad guy?

The bully says, "Your mom!" The girl says, "Is sleeping with your dad."