Animal jokes
A nut told me to eat him, so I did, but something weird happened. I turned into a nut, and when I poop, there were eggs there.
What kind of cow has 2 legs?
YOUR MOM!!
This joke is about koala bears. It is high koala-ty.
What do you call a Mexican rooster?
Un gallo pelón.
Really funny jokes at https://www.ranker.com/list/duck-jokes/jack-napier
Memes
Never trust a donkey; they are always full of shit.
What do you call an elephant and a rhino mix?
Helliphino!
What did the bison say to his son when he left the ranch? Bi-son.
Why do I call my dog a vibrator?
Because every time my dog acts like a dildo, I beat him, and when I beat him, he shakes. What do you call a shaking dildo? A vibrator, therefore I call my dog a vibrator.
Why did the cow go to space? To go to the moon!
Good morning? Goodbye!
How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?
Pick him up and sick his dick.
What do sheep hate?
Their enemies: goats!
What do you call a cat 🐈 that is glued down? A big cluck.
A woman goes to buy a parrot.
There is one for 200, 500, and one for 15 bucks.
She asks why the last one is so cheap.
The man at the counter says, "It used to live in a brothel/sex house."
The lady buys it anyway.
When she gets home, it says, "Fuck me, a new brothel!"
When her daughters get home, it says, "Fuck me, 2 new prozzies!"
When the father gets home, the parrot says, "Fuck me, Daryl, haven't seen you in the brothel in weeks!"
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because...
Why is an orphan and a dog friends?
Hansume cheetah e Cel Cheetos?
Why did Helen Keller's dog run away?
You'd run away too if your name was OAhHhPrhhHK.
Why'd the snake cross the road? It was in the chicken's butt.