Animal jokes
You are so cat.
You got a pig head!
Did you adopt your dog?
Why did the snake eat a panda?
Why did the Hummingbird hum because he forgot the words?
squint your eyes
What do you call a herd of winning cows?
A topside.
"Bunny was so hopping to see you this week."
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
Teacher: Here, have candy.
Kid: No, I’m too fat.
Teacher: Shut up, or I’m gonna fail you.
*Next week*
Teacher: Okay kids, get off the floor and go back to your seats.
Kid: I’m too fat to get up.
Teacher: Don’t you remember what I said?
Kid: Yep, elephants don’t forget.
A girl and dog get dropped off at an orphanage. Why was she crying before she went in? Because the people came back for their dog!
Why did the duck cross the road to get to his quack dealer?
What do you call a fish that doesn't play basketball?
What do you call a fish with no neck?
What do you call a fish with no booty?
What's yellow, slimy, and smells like bananas?
Monkey puke.
Happy was a cute hippo.
Happy sleeps in the water.
Happy walks on land.
Happy runs on Savannahs.
Happy swims in mud.
Happy takes a bath.
A farmer had a donkey and a dog. One night, he was getting robbed by a thief. The donkey told the dog to bark, but the dog refused. So the donkey brayed very loudly, and the thief ran out of the house, and the farmer beat up the donkey.
A zebra couldn't find any grass. Then he saw a monkey cooking. He thought to steal a little, but he was burned in the fore, and the smoke was all over him. But when he went to the ocean, it was still there, and zebras are stuck in this style forever.
What's the difference between a violinist and a dog?
The dog knows when to stop scratching.
Why do cows do it for the mooooooooooooooooooo?