Animal jokes

What do you call a sheep with wings?

I walked up to a cat and started to sing a song. The cat said, "HECK NO!" then ran off. I follow it while still singing "BABY COME HOME TO ME!!"

I took my pony to the vet because I thought he was making a funny noise when he neighed. The vet said everything was okay and he was just a little horse.

Why do crabs never give to charity? Because they’re shellfish.

Hahahahahahahaha what a knee slapper!

Why did the ass start a gardening service?

It was great at dropping SEEDS.

Did you hear about the bull who went on a shooting rampage?

I guess he was a little deranged.

Yesterday, I was on a reality TV show where they locked me up with all those smelly monkeys from the Leger Zoo. It was complete madness.

One time, I was making a caramel apple.

When I mistook 1 gallon of caramel for 1 camel!

Why do you stink?

Because you haven't showered, tu, perro.

Why did the pig decline to go to the farmer's house?

He would take him to a "pignic."

How are infants and chocolate alike? They'll both kill your dog.

Why did the duck walk across the road? I lost my pecker!

Sans: What do you call a skeleton snake?

A rattler!

Sans: ha ha ha ha!!

Are you a bull, because I wanna ride you like a rodeo.

A snake walks into the bar... the bartender says, "How the heck did you do that?"

What do you call your mom?

Monkey.

Your mum is so fat, when the doctors did her x-ray, the doctor said to her, "I want your x-ray, not an elephant's x-ray!"

POV: A person made you mad, but you're Chinese and they have a cat. "CHING CHONG, CHING CHONG, CHING CHONG, BITCH."

Do you know that Helen Keller had a dog?

Neither did she.

What do you call a club that owls go to?

Hooters.