Animal jokes
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To try to get away from the man.
Why did the man cross the road?
Because his d**k was stuck in the chicken.
What do you call a bull sleeping?
A bull-dozer.
What did the whale say?
Nothing!
It just wailed.
What do you call a cow you can’t see?
Camooflauged.
A man takes his dog out and steps in shit. He exclaims "WHAT THE DEUCE!"
Memes
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Cows say, "Moo, not who."
What did the father bullet say to the baby bullet when he killed a bull by hitting it in the eye: "Bull's eye!"
What do you call a sheep with wings?
I walked up to a cat and started to sing a song. The cat said, "HECK NO!" then ran off. I follow it while still singing "BABY COME HOME TO ME!!"
What do you call an alligator with a magnifying glass?
An Investigator.
Why did the chicken cross the road to go away?
Bird on the beach: seagull.
Bird by the bay: bagel.
Bird down south Philly Walmart parking lot: illegal.
Why did the cat cross the road?
To die.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
A horse says to the other horse, "Are you hot?"
The other horse says, "Ahhhh, a house that talks!"
How are infants and chocolate alike? They'll both kill your dog.
Why did the duck walk across the road? I lost my pecker!
Sans: What do you call a skeleton snake?
A rattler!
Sans: ha ha ha ha!!
POV: A person made you mad, but you're Chinese and they have a cat. "CHING CHONG, CHING CHONG, CHING CHONG, BITCH."
Why do you stink?
Because you haven't showered, tu, perro.