Animal jokes
Why did the chicken cross the road?
For absolutely no reason.
Why was the cow scared? Cause he had a nightmoo-r.
What do cows read? The moospaper!
Why did the cow cross the road?
To go to the moovies.
What do you call a bull sleeping?
A bull-dozer.
Memes
Most autisitic person ever.
What did the whale say?
Nothing!
It just wailed.
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
It’s true. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
What do you call a cow you can’t see?
Camooflauged.
What do you call an alligator with a magnifying glass?
An Investigator.
Why did the chicken cross the road to go away?
Bird on the beach: seagull.
Bird by the bay: bagel.
Bird down south Philly Walmart parking lot: illegal.
Q. Why did the cow cross the road?
A. Because he/she wanted to watch the moooovie.
What do you call a sheep with wings?
A man takes his dog out and steps in shit. He exclaims "WHAT THE DEUCE!"
I walked up to a cat and started to sing a song. The cat said, "HECK NO!" then ran off. I follow it while still singing "BABY COME HOME TO ME!!"
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Cows say, "Moo, not who."
What did the father bullet say to the baby bullet when he killed a bull by hitting it in the eye: "Bull's eye!"
What's the difference between a piranha and a teenage girl?
The piranha doesn't wear makeup.
Why did the ass start a gardening service?
It was great at dropping SEEDS.
Did you hear about the bull who went on a shooting rampage?
I guess he was a little deranged.