Animal jokes
How does a cow do math?
With a cow-culator!
What do you call a rabbit with a crooked dick?
Fucks funny.
What is a cow?
What do my baby and dinosaurs have in common? They are both dead.
What did the cow say to the farmer? Moo away!
Once a bird went to search for food. Then suddenly he saw grain on a road. When he saw a bullock cart, he said, "That's too far away." Then the bullock immediately came, and the king bird came, and the deceitful bird said, "Sorry, Majesty, I was wrong to eat this on the road." And then he died, and the king bird goes back and tells everybody about it.
Why you gay, bruh? I know why I'm gay. I got the wolf pack protectors spirit in me, YA BOIIIII!
Where do cows go to see the big screen? The mooo-vie theater.
Quack, quack, quack, quack, quack, quack.
Why do bees stay in the hive during winter?
... S'warm!
What do dogs drink? Pupsi.
One time, a cow saved my life.
It was bovine intervention.
What's the difference between a man's wife and his dog?
Lock them both in the trunk for three hours and see which is happy to see you when you open it.
What's the difference between a piranha and a teenage girl?
The piranha doesn't wear makeup.
What did the hungry Dalmation say when he had some kibble? That hit the spot!
What does a cow use in school? A cowculator.
Why was the dog so stressed out?
It had a ruff day.
Bully: You're so short you hand-glide on a chip.
Short person: Well, at least I don’t look like a giraffe that just came out of an oven!
What do you say to your pet when you're super tired, slow, and worn out?
"I'm totally dogging it today..."
What does the chicken say when he didn't understand something?
"What hap-HENd?"