Q: How do you catch a squirrel?
A: Act like a nut.
(Psst! Heard this joke before? Sorry! That's the only nut-and-squirrel joke I know.)
Q: Ten shepherds out in the sheep field. How do you know which one's gay?
A: He's the one the sheep fuck!
(I'm gay, and I know this joke is demeaning and inappropriate, but I still think it's funny as a 2-inch penis.)
Why wasn’t the rabbit jumping?
Because he was dead.
What do bees make milk from?
Boobees.
It was so windy I saw a chicken lay the same egg twice!
My life is such an udder disappointment. What an udder failure!
Yo mama so stupid, when I told her she needed some cats, she came back with...
CRASH, ARENA, TURBO STARS!
I was talking to my friends and they said a random topic about cats, and I'm like, "Water you talking about?" =3
How do bees get to school?
They take the buzz.
All doggies go to heaven - or so I've been told.
They run and play along the streets of Gold.
Why is heaven such a doggie-delight...
Why, because there's not a single cat in sight.
One day me and my friend Howard the duck went into the bar. I ordered a drink. Howard told the waiter to put it on his... BILL.
When do you take a cow to the movies?
On a mooo-vie!
What do you call a fish with a temper?
Undyne.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Rabid cow.
Rabid cow who?
Hold on, I need to get my gun...
Nolan is a mole, who lives in a hole, and then had intercourse with a troll.
What did the boy goat say to his girlfriend?
You're my boo!
One day, there was an ugly barnacle. It was so ugly that everyone died. The end!
You
You
You're the cow.
I can't see the bee.
It's by the beehive.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Who.
Who who?
Stop acting like an owl!
