Animal jokes
Chomp!
There were three cats. The first cat said, "Meow." The second cat said, "Meow." The third cat said, "Meow meow." Then the first cat said, "Don't change the subject!"
Q: Why did the duck cross the road?
A: To get to the other side.
Bob the Golden Retriever and Lily the Husky were talking at Bob's house.
Lily: Bob, do you think I'm fat?
Bob: No, Lily, of course not! You're just a little husky!!!! Lol. Golden Retrievers are funny.
What did the dog say when he came home from a long shift at work? Today was ruff.
What do you get from pampered cows?
Spoiled milk.
My friend Nickiya wanted to know what animal she'd be. I said that she would be a "Ni-cat-a."
What do you call a cow with three legs?
Tri-tip!
Why did the chicken go to the mall?
To get new feathers!
What did the bus say to the mail?
Dog.
What did one angry cow say to another?
We got some beef.
I had to take my pet octopus to the vet yesterday.
Oh, don’t worry, he’s okay now.
But the vet charged me six quid.
Q: What did the grandma cat say to her grandson when she saw him slouching?
A: You need to pay more attention to my pawsture.
What do you call a 18+ animal jam?
Play Wild!
What do you call a cow on steroids? A bull-y.
A cow's favorite singer: Adam Bovine of Mooroon 5.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Fuck you, that's why.
Are you the king of the jungle? 'Cause why are we lying?
Once a bird went to search for food. Then suddenly he saw grain on a road. When he saw a bullock cart, he said, "That's too far away." Then the bullock immediately came, and the king bird came, and the deceitful bird said, "Sorry, Majesty, I was wrong to eat this on the road." And then he died, and the king bird goes back and tells everybody about it.
"Dog the dog" and Maggie were frightened of her, and the kangaroo said that she had to be in a hospital with a doctor. Jokes and Maggie were walking. I was going to go off the road to the city hall to see her, and I said that the only one-piece dress for women readymade RB collection, as he was walking in the city, and Maggie was a little bit more on the side of it.