Animal jokes
What's yellow, slimy, and smells like bananas?
Monkey puke.
What do you call a fish that doesn't play basketball?
Happy was a cute hippo.
Happy sleeps in the water.
Happy walks on land.
Happy runs on Savannahs.
Happy swims in mud.
Happy takes a bath.
What da dog doin'?
A farmer had a donkey and a dog. One night, he was getting robbed by a thief. The donkey told the dog to bark, but the dog refused. So the donkey brayed very loudly, and the thief ran out of the house, and the farmer beat up the donkey.
What's the difference between a violinist and a dog?
The dog knows when to stop scratching.
You got a pig head!
You are so cat.
What do you call a group of kangaroos? Gangaroos.
Little Johnny: Dad, why are you rubbing the horse's chest and butt?
Dad: I want to see if it's good enough to buy.
Little Johnny: I think Uncle Joe wants to buy Mom.
I was going to make alligator last night, but I noticed I only had a croc pot.
How do bees go to school?
They go on a buzzzzzzzzzzz.
Yo mama so ugly, she the real reason all the dodos died.
Teacher: Here, have candy.
Kid: No, I’m too fat.
Teacher: Shut up, or I’m gonna fail you.
*Next week*
Teacher: Okay kids, get off the floor and go back to your seats.
Kid: I’m too fat to get up.
Teacher: Don’t you remember what I said?
Kid: Yep, elephants don’t forget.
What do you call a fish and a guitar?
Tunafish.
How can you make an Otter Pop become funny?
Take your shotgun and make an otter go "pop!"
What do you call a pig at the beach?
Bacon.
"Bunny was so hopping to see you this week."
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
What do you call finding half of a worm?
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh moan for me.