Animal jokes
Where do spiders seek health advice? WebMD.
What is the sexiest animal alive? The Βυττerfly.
What do you call an animal in space? Just death because you need a spacesuit.
What’s the difference between a chicken and an orphan?
The chicken is actually used for something.
What’s the difference between a cow and 9/11?
A cow can’t be milked for 21 years.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?
El, if I know.
Therapy - Expensive - Years of hard work - Emotionally draining - Tough to find
Screaming in the woods - Free - Immediate relief - Scares hunters enough to leave, therefore saving innocent animals - Potential to make friends with people who are also screaming in the woods.
Q: What is a cow?
A: A bad cow.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
'Cause he was on crack.
Little Johnny: Dad, why are you rubbing the horse's chest and butt?
Dad: I want to see if it's good enough to buy.
Little Johnny: I think Uncle Joe wants to buy Mom.
What type of fish goes best with peanut butter?
Jellyfish!
Here's a tip for cow tipping from TheRussianBadger.
"So if you see Otis from Barnyard, make sure you blast his ass from a distance!"
How do bees go to school?
They go on a buzzzzzzzzzzz.
Yo mama so ugly, she the real reason all the dodos died.
I was going to make alligator last night, but I noticed I only had a croc pot.
What do you call a group of kangaroos? Gangaroos.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
So it could get to the other side!
What do you call a dog with no legs?
A: It doesn’t matter; it won’t come anyway.
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the “shell” station.
What is a Finnish Spitz's favorite comedian?
Redd Foxx.