Animal jokes
What do you call a lazy kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
What do you get when you cross a deer and a pickle?
A dildo.
There were 32 cows. Twenty-eight chickens. How many were there?
There were 32 cows. Twenty ate chickens. How many were there?
Your mum is so fat, when the doctors did her x-ray, the doctor said to her, "I want your x-ray, not an elephant's x-ray!"
What do you call a deaf dog? As you like, he doesn't hear you anyway.
What do you get when you cross a lawn mower and a parakeet?
Shredded tweet!
How do bees get to school? On a school buzz.
What happened to the dog that crossed the road?
What animal lies? A lion.
What happened when the cheetah took too many baths?
He became spotless!!!
What is a cow's favorite dance move?
The milkshake.
Why did the Emo Chicken cross the road?
To get hit by a car.
Why is the cheetah so fast?
Because it can't walk slow.
What do you get when you mix a cow with an earthquake??
Milkshake.
What’s the cow's favorite place to go? The moovies!
I put my leg up in the air sometimes, singing ayo, I'm a flamingo...
Q: Why can't dinosaurs clap?
A: Because they're dead.
One time an ant was collecting food. Suddenly, a wind pushed the ant into the river. The ant said, "Help! Help!" and a pigeon heard it. Then, he grabbed a leaf and threw it in the river. The ant climbed on it, and then the pigeon and the ant became best friends. But one time, a hunter came to kill the pigeon. When the ant saw him, she bit his leg and the pigeon flew away from the arrow, and that's how friends are, everybody.
What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
Dam.
What's a rapper's favorite type of pet?
A rhyming parrot.