Why do cows do it for the mooooooooooooooooooo?
You: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Random person: Why?
You: To get to the idiot's house!
Random person: What?
You: Knock knock.
Random person: Who's there?
You: The chicken.
Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
'Cause it got knocked down on its way.
Sans: What do you call a skeleton snake?
A rattler!
Sans: ha ha ha ha!!
What do you call a sheep with wings?
What’s the difference between a cow and 9/11?
A cow can’t be milked for 21 years.
What do you call a cow with 3 legs?
Lean beef!
What do you call a club that owls go to?
Hooters.
A horse says to the other horse, "Are you hot?"
The other horse says, "Ahhhh, a house that talks!"
Why did the cat cross the road?
To die.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
If Stephen Hawking was walking, they would have a hawk problem.
I like tortles.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To try to get away from the man.
Why did the man cross the road?
Because his d**k was stuck in the chicken.
What did the whale say?
Nothing!
It just wailed.
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
It’s true. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
What do you call a cow you can’t see?
Camooflauged.
A dog was in the vet's waiting room and another dog asked, "What are you here for?"
"Well, my owner was looking under her bed for something while naked and I couldn't resist, so I mounted up and screwed her senseless."
"Oh, so you're here to get neutered?"
"Nah, I'm just getting my nails clipped."
Once upon a time lived a fat ass named Steve and got rabies and died. The end!
Teacher: Ok class good morning, we are going to start off by what kind of sound animals make.
Teacher: Ok, what sound does a pig make?
Class: A cow says mo mo.
Teacher: Good.
Teacher: What does a sheep make?
Class: A sheep says maa maaa.
Teacher: Good! Now what does a pig say?
Little Johnny: A pig says "Put your hands up and get agenst the wall you black mother fucke*."
