Animal jokes

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

Teacher: Here, have candy.

Kid: No, I’m too fat.

Teacher: Shut up, or I’m gonna fail you.

*Next week*

Teacher: Okay kids, get off the floor and go back to your seats.

Kid: I’m too fat to get up.

Teacher: Don’t you remember what I said?

Kid: Yep, elephants don’t forget.

Dimetrodon, dimetrodon.

Why did the Hummingbird hum because he forgot the words?

What da dog doin'?

What do you call a herd of winning cows?

A topside.

What do you call a pig at the beach?

Bacon.

A farmer had a donkey and a dog. One night, he was getting robbed by a thief. The donkey told the dog to bark, but the dog refused. So the donkey brayed very loudly, and the thief ran out of the house, and the farmer beat up the donkey.

A zebra couldn't find any grass. Then he saw a monkey cooking. He thought to steal a little, but he was burned in the fore, and the smoke was all over him. But when he went to the ocean, it was still there, and zebras are stuck in this style forever.

Why do dogs lick their balls? Because they can.

Farmer's Wife: Honey, where are the cows?

Farmer: Up in the mountains grazing.

Farmer's Wife: Why?

Farmer: I don't know, but the steaks have never been higher.

My dad went out with Nemo one day to the store. They still haven't come back.

What do you call finding half of a worm?

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh moan for me.

What do you call a fish and a guitar?

Tunafish.

How can you make an Otter Pop become funny?

Take your shotgun and make an otter go "pop!"

Why did the whale cross the ocean?

To get to the other tide!!! 😂

What did the fish say when he hit the wall?

Dam!

Why didn't the chicken cross the road?

'Cause it got knocked down on its way.

Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the “shell” station.

What is a Finnish Spitz's favorite comedian?

Redd Foxx.