Animal jokes
A horse says to the other horse, "Are you hot?"
The other horse says, "Ahhhh, a house that talks!"
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
Why did the cat cross the road?
To die.
If Stephen Hawking was walking, they would have a hawk problem.
Q. Why did the cow cross the road?
A. Because he/she wanted to watch the moooovie.
What did the father bullet say to the baby bullet when he killed a bull by hitting it in the eye: "Bull's eye!"
What do you call a bull sleeping?
A bull-dozer.
What do you call an animal that smells?
A smelly-phant.
That joke is really not funny.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Cows say, "Moo, not who."
What do you call an alligator with a magnifying glass?
An Investigator.
Why did the chicken cross the road to go away?
Bird on the beach: seagull.
Bird by the bay: bagel.
Bird down south Philly Walmart parking lot: illegal.
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the “shell” station.
What is a donkey called when it has a hole on itself?
An ASSHole.
What do you call a too round egg?
A prEGGnant egg.
What is a Finnish Spitz's favorite comedian?
Redd Foxx.
Why do cows do it for the mooooooooooooooooooo?
What do you call a cow that is secret?
AnonyMOOus.
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
It’s true. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
What do you call a cow you can’t see?
Camooflauged.