Animal jokes
What can a duck eat for a snack? Saltine quackers!
Bald Eagle.
Two baby seals walk into a club.
I hate it when I go to the shop and people are like, "Oh, hey what are you doing here?"
Me: "Oh, you know, just hunting elephants."
What did one dog say to another dog? I love you.
Why doesn't anyone play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.
Q: What does a cat have that no other animal has?
A: Kittens.
What does a lesbian and a sea turtle have in common?
They both choke on plastic.
You got a black cat.
He was bad luck.
Everyone left you and you committed suicide.
What a CATastrophe!
Can a cook and clean for real? No, I do not want no rabbit hare in my house.
The early bird might get the worm...
But the second mouse gets the cheese.
A boy asks a zookeeper, "Why is there a baguette in a cage?"
The zookeeper says, "It's bread in captivity!"
Why are chickens so awesome? Because... Chicken noise.
I could have sworn while watching anime I saw an American Boeing B-29 Superfortress in the background dropping bombs!
What cow can part water? Mooses.
How did Jenson lose against a Cheetah?
Because he was a cheetah!
What happened to the chicken after he died? He did not say anything, so I don't know.
A farm full of cows were bombed, and only two survived. All of the udders died.
Why didn't the koala make the football team? Because it got diskoalafied!
What’s the difference between an emo kid and a dead pig?
Suicide squad.