Animal jokes
My wife got mad at me because I took our life savings and brought golden retrievers.
Like, bitch, we can get gold because of these golden retrievers.
What is bigger than an elephant but smaller than two elephants?
A different sized elephant.
How did Jenson lose against a Cheetah?
Because he was a cheetah!
What is mad cow disease?
Who is the king of the insects 🐜?
The Monarch!
A guy says to his dog, "Where are you?" The dog was actually dead, bro.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Ground beef.
Kid: Why aren’t koalas considered bears?
Nerd: Because they're marsupials.
Kid: No, because they didn’t have the koala-fication!
What is a cheetah's favorite snack?
Cheetos.
Why did the qack go duck?
I don't know, rhydon deez. 4x2=8
There were 3 Gay Fish in a Tank. One says to the others: "How do you drive this thing?"
Like this joke if you LOLed! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
What did all the humans say when all the pets left town?
A doggone catastrophe!
How do cows say "oof?"
They say, "MOOf."
If you are wondering where the dog went, I don't know. Maybe he went barking around.
What time do you have when an elephant sits on your fence?
Time to get a new fence!
What would you call a mom cat and a kitten walking together?
KIT-KAT :p
What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk.
Where did the mouse go?
To the mouse-um!
A polar bear walks into a bar, asks the barman, “A pint of lager................. and a packet of crisps.”
The barman asks, “Why the large pause?”
What do you get when you are hungry? A dog to eat.