Animal jokes

What is an owl that wears armor?

What do you call a dog wearing a beret?

Smeargle!

Why did the pony have to gargle? Maybe because he was feeling a little hoarse.

Why did the cow cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken.

My dog got stuck in my ass, help!

What is a cow's favorite dance move?

The milkshake.

What the difference between cats and dogs? They dont have one both taste good

What do you call a dog with 2 legs?

It doesn’t matter, it won’t come anyways.

Knock knock? Who's there? Kanga. Kanga who? Not kangawho, kangaroo!

A polar bear walks into a bar, asks the barman, “A pint of lager................. and a packet of crisps.”

The barman asks, “Why the large pause?”

What do you call a group of masturbating cows?

Beef stroganoff.

Dinosaurs be like:

".......My friends are dead, like bruhhh."

What time is it when a rooster sits on a fence? Morning.

What time is it when an elephant sits on a fence? Time to get a new fence.

What time is it when a lawyer sits on the fence? Time for an elephant to sit on the fence.

Why couldn't the teddy bear finish his dessert?

He was stuffed.

Why were the cows so noisy in the barn?

Because they had horns!

You guys are cow-medians!

So funny!

What did the bull tell his son before it went for college?

Bye-son.

What do you call a bloody pig?

HAMorrhage!

The Flanders Song

God said to Noah, "There’s gonna be a floody-floody."

Rain came down, it started to get muddy-muddy.

Get these animals👏out of the arky-arky."

"Leave me alone!"

"What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?"

"Sofishticated."