Animal jokes

What pictures did turtles take?

Shell-fies!

How does a cow introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.

Why were the cows so noisy in the barn?

Because they had horns!

You guys are cow-medians!

So funny!

What did the bull tell his son before it went for college?

Bye-son.

How do you count cows?

With a cowculator.

"Baaad boy."

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay person's house!

Knock knock.

Who's there?

The chicken.

What's a penguin's favorite relative?

Why did the frog cross the road to hop to his side, Bih?

Guess what?

What?

Chicken butt!

How do cows like to play games? Moobile (Mobile).

Why did the pony have to gargle? Maybe because he was feeling a little hoarse.

The 🦅 asked the female eagle, "What did you eat?"

"I ate New York hot dogs."

Sad news, my obese parrot died today.

Mind you, it's a huge weight off my shoulders.

Who would win in a race, Stephen Hawking or a turtle?

The turtle, because it can walk.

What did the walrus say when they lost the remote?

"Walrus the remote!"

What is the cheapest meat?

"Deer balls," they're under a buck!

Why did the rhino eat the car?

Poop.

Yo mama is so fat she turned the mermaids to fishes.