Animal jokes
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get on the person's face.
What do cows listen to?
Moo-sic.
What da dog doin'?
rat gaagah?
What kind of bug can tell time? A clock-roach.
My wife saw me hit the best drive yesterday with my golf clubs.
I must have drove that chihuahua 300 yards.
What cow can part water? Mooses.
Dad goat: Son, do you know what I like to eat?
Son goat: No, what?
Dad goat: Goat meat.
Son goat: *Gasps*
Dad goat: Nah, I'm just KIDing.
Why can't bugs drive... because they don't have a LICE-ens...
BA-DUM CHHH!
What's a Mexican's favorite insect? A grasshopper.
What happened when 800 hares got loose in the center of town?
The cops had to comb through the area.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Rabid cow.
Rabid cow who?
Hold on, I need to get my gun...
The fish do nothing. That is definitely a bad joke.
What bee can't fly?
Koby.
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt quacks!
How do you get a squirrel to be your friend?
Act like a nut.
what do you call a chicken who crossed the road?........suicidal.
One time I saw a manatee all spray painted to look like a tiger. Needless to say, the first thing I yelled was, "OH! THE HUMANATEE!"
The cat said hi.
Why was the Koala Bear so clever?
Because he had good koalifications!