Animal jokes
A penguin walks into a bar. The bartender says, "So what will it be this time?" The penguin doesn't answer because it's a penguin.
What do you say to a pig with no nose? You have n'ought a snout!
Where did my rabbit go?
*crunch*
Why did the koala cross the road?
To get to the big tree.
Mary had a lamb. Her fleece was black as coal. When I tried to touch it that night, next day I went to court.
Memes
What's black and red/read all over? A baby skunk with a bad case of diaper rash!
How many guns can an octopus hold?
9
What time do dogs 🐕 get a walk done ✅?
Time to walk with your dog 🐶!
Roses are red, lilacs are purple, I have a turtle, his name is Squirtle.
I would tell you a cat pun, but it's too purr-fect to share.
What happens if you sit under a cow?
You get a pat on the head.
What do you call a chicken that was cared for? A tendered chicken.
Why did the sperm cross the road?
To fuck the chicken.
What happens when you cross a pig and karate?
A pork chop!
Why don't bulls play archery? They might hit a bulls-eye.
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
"It's nice, but can it pick up peanuts?"
I told my sister to make a noise and hear what she said... "Cuckoo coo chew." #Owl🦉
A magician walks up to a girl and asks her to feel the rabbit in the magician's hat.
The magician asks the girl to rub the rabbit. The girl notices the rabbit sticks up and drools; the hat was covering the hips.
You're so fat that people say you're the biggest bird!
I felt bad for a dog, and I looked to my left, and there was an orphan, and I said I will make you a website, and I said there won't be a homepage.