Animal jokes
What do you call a sleeping cow?
A bull-dozer.
Roses are red, lilacs are purple, I have a turtle, his name is Squirtle.
A penguin walks into a bar. The bartender says, "So what will it be this time?" The penguin doesn't answer because it's a penguin.
How many guns can an octopus hold?
9
What time do dogs 🐕 get a walk done ✅?
Time to walk with your dog 🐶!
Memes
What's black and red/read all over? A baby skunk with a bad case of diaper rash!
What do you say to a pig with no nose? You have n'ought a snout!
Where did my rabbit go?
*crunch*
Mary had a lamb. Her fleece was black as coal. When I tried to touch it that night, next day I went to court.
Why did the koala cross the road?
To get to the big tree.
Yo mama so fat, she fell into a pond and all the fish drowned.
Why did the rape victim cross the road?
Because she was a chicken!
What's a rapper's favorite animal?
RHYMENOCEROS!
Why did the rapper become a beekeeper?
To make some BUZZWORTHY TRACKS!
What's a rapper's favorite type of pet?
A rhyming parrot.
Why did the rapper go to the pet store?
To buy a dog for his bark tracks!
Q: What do gay horses say?
A: "Geigh!"
What is a pig's favorite part of karate?
A pork chop.
Meow meow, I'm a cow and I like cum cum cum.
A magician walks up to a girl and asks her to feel the rabbit in the magician's hat.
The magician asks the girl to rub the rabbit. The girl notices the rabbit sticks up and drools; the hat was covering the hips.