Animal jokes
What did one cat say to the other? Happy "meow"!
What is cats and dogs' favorite story and movie?
"Romeow and Drooliet!"
I just watched a program about beavers.
It was the best dam program I’ve ever seen!
What do you call a pig?
Pig.
Why do elephants never get rich?
Because they work for peanuts!
Shorse
What did the Cheetah say to the Lion?
"I'm a Cheetah!"
What do you call a bird with no wings?
Answer: A FLAP.
Boy: Crap, I hit a deer.
Girl: Awe... I guess it’s not so much of a dear.
Boy: ...
Boy: Get the hell out!
Q: What's black, white, and Asian?
A: A panda!
What do you call a sleeping cow?
A bull-dozer.
Where did my rabbit go?
*crunch*
Mary had a lamb. Her fleece was black as coal. When I tried to touch it that night, next day I went to court.
Why did the rape victim cross the road?
Because she was a chicken!
Roses are red, lilacs are purple, I have a turtle, his name is Squirtle.
What do you say to a pig with no nose? You have n'ought a snout!
Yo mama so fat, she fell into a pond and all the fish drowned.
A penguin walks into a bar. The bartender says, "So what will it be this time?" The penguin doesn't answer because it's a penguin.
How many guns can an octopus hold?
9
What time do dogs 🐕 get a walk done ✅?
Time to walk with your dog 🐶!
What's black and red/read all over? A baby skunk with a bad case of diaper rash!