Animal jokes
What did the Cheetah say to the Lion?
"I'm a Cheetah!"
Why did the dog go into the fire?
Because it wanted to be a hot dog!
What do you call a bird with no wings?
Answer: A FLAP.
How do you fit a whale inside a car? A blender.
I am mis-steak.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting cow wh---
MOOOO!
What college do cows go to?
The Mooniversity.
When my dog barks, he gets ruff.
I just watched a program about beavers.
It was the best dam program I’ve ever seen!
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma?
A cat has claws at the end of paws; a comma is a pause at the end of a clause.
Me: Hey, wanna know my spirit animal?
Friend: Sure.
Me: Roadkill, because I can see my mom pretty clearly now.
Friend: Wait, aren't you dead?
Me: Aren't you my son?
Friend: So that's what Mom was trying to hide from me.
Boy: Crap, I hit a deer.
Girl: Awe... I guess it’s not so much of a dear.
Boy: ...
Boy: Get the hell out!
What do you call a sleeping cow?
A bull-dozer.
Q: What's black, white, and Asian?
A: A panda!
Why did the rape victim cross the road?
Because she was a chicken!
Roses are red, lilacs are purple, I have a turtle, his name is Squirtle.
A penguin walks into a bar. The bartender says, "So what will it be this time?" The penguin doesn't answer because it's a penguin.
What time do dogs 🐕 get a walk done ✅?
Time to walk with your dog 🐶!
How many guns can an octopus hold?
9
Where did my rabbit go?
*crunch*