Animal jokes

A magician walks up to a girl and asks her to feel the rabbit in the magician's hat.

The magician asks the girl to rub the rabbit. The girl notices the rabbit sticks up and drools; the hat was covering the hips.

I felt bad for a dog, and I looked to my left, and there was an orphan, and I said I will make you a website, and I said there won't be a homepage.

What do cheetahs like?

Sports!

You're so fat that people say you're the biggest bird!

Meow meow, I'm a cow and I like cum cum cum.

Q: What did the Buffalo say to his son when he left for college?

A: Bison.

Yo mama so fat, she had to get baptized at SeaWorld!

What's the difference between a goat and a sex slave?

I don't have a slave in my sex dungeon.

My dad said, "Where's Pickles, the family cat?" I said, "I'm sorry to say he's in the sky." He said, "Oh, I see, he passed away." No, I strapped him to 20 fireworks!

My girlfriend said to me, "Dear, I think you have hit an animal, there's blood and dents all over the bonnet."

I said, "No, love, I'm not waiting for a Black Lives Matter rally."

What did the horses say to the donkeys?

"Jackasses, please like!"

What kind of fish do people eat?

Deep-fried fish.

I jump off a cliff and said I hate you, dumb blond, and eagle...Then I said to my wife, "We're done, Blondie," and said to my friend, "You're a dumbhead eagle!"

What's the difference between a sex slave and a goat?

I don't have a sex slave in my basement...

What do penguins wear on their heads?

Snow caps!

What's the difference between a dog and an orphan? The dog gets picked.

How long was the owl trick or treating?

Owl night long!

Your momma's so fat, she went on safari and got shagged by an elephant!

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Grounded beef.

What do you call a bear with no ear?

B.