Animal jokes
My grandpa has the heart of a lion,
and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
A cow in an earthquake is called a milkshake.
Your uncle Jack is stuck on a horse.
Would you help your uncle "Jack" off the horse?
What’s the difference between a dog and a marine biologist?
One wags its tail, and the other tags a whale!
Your uncle Jack is stuck on the horse...
Would you help him jack off the horse?
A flock of swallows were migrating south as a jet flew past them.
"Why was that one flying so fast?" asked one. Another answers, "Can't you see his tail is burning?"
A teenage girl got a summer job dogsitting for a gigantic English Mastiff. She spent hours with the dog, and walked a little funny when she got home.
"What are you doing all day?"
"Knot a lot."
I don't trust anything that bleeds for more than 5 days and is still alive.
A chicken is delicious.
What is a cow?
What do you call a female octopus? An octopussy.
What do you say to your pony when it's being wild?
Stop horsing around!
What did the bull say when got hit in the special area? "Damn my bulls!" Ahahaha
What did the frog order?
A diet Croak!
A few days ago, I phoned up the spiritual leader of Tibet, and he sent me a large goat with a long neck. Turns out I phoned Dial-a-Llama.
What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pork chop.
Julie: What's the difference between a chimp and a pizza?
John: I don't know.
Julie: Remind me not to send you to the store...
A fish is dead, who do you call? Aquaman!
What's a bison's favorite gun?
A PP Bizon.
What's the difference between the Barracuda car and a fish?
The fish can't go fast.