Animal jokes
Kermit the Frog and Fozzie Bear were having a picnic.
Fozzie said, "Do you know where Ms. Piggy is? I haven't seen her all day."
Kermit said, "I don't know, but this extra bacon cheeseburger sure tastes great."
What do you do when you run out of carpets? Fetch your shotgun and look for Explain Bear.
A black cat will be racist next.
What's the similarity between Christmas stuffing and my penis?
I like them both inside dead animals, because alive animals feel too much like men, and then I'd cum too quick.
Why did the cow want to be an astronaut?
Because it wanted to see the Milky Way!
The farmers were playing chess, and the winner shouted and said: "I killed your horse!"
The second quickly left, and when he returned he said: "We have poisoned all your cows!"
The pinnacle of loyalty is that an ant married an elephant, and after he died, she spent her entire life burying him :)
Do you know why dinosaurs can't eat hyenas?
Because they're dead! The last thing they ate was some rock.
What do you get when you mix a grizzly bear and milk? Mauled.
I like your cut, G.
*Slaps really hard*
BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
How do you get a koala to die? Kill it.
How do cats masturbate? They lick they pussy.
Monkeys are big, but they sure can swing very lightly.
What did the cow 🐄 watch? moooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooovies 😂🐄🖥
After I see an anime boy acting cool,
Me at school acting cool:
My brothers: "He's just acting cool."
Me: I'm gonna kill u 0.0
Q: What are cheetahs?
A: The worst card players!
How do you make a cat say woof? You cover it in petrol and light a match.
What did the llama say when the villagers said that he had to leave the village?
"Alpaca my bags."
Why shouldn’t you play cards in Africa?
'Cause there’s too many cheetahs.
I was reading a great book about an immortal dog the other day.
It was impossible to put down.