Animal jokes
A teenage girl got a summer job dogsitting for a gigantic English Mastiff. She spent hours with the dog, and walked a little funny when she got home.
"What are you doing all day?"
"Knot a lot."
Why did the cow cross the road? Because he was riding the chicken!
When you are eating delicious street food in China and you ask the chef: You: "Is this chicken?" Chef: "No, its meow meow."
A wife and husband go to a barn. The husband picks up a goat and says, “Look at this pig I have to sleep with every night.”
The wife says, “Honey, that’s a goat.”
The husband replies with, “I was talking to the goat.”
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting cow who?
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Memes
Took me about 15 seconds of staring in confusion to figure out how the illusion worked
I got in a cage fight.
The hamster didn't know what hit him!
What is the difference between a cow and a chicken?
It's white and it's brown.
Q: What do you get when the cow jumped over the barbed wire? A: Udder destruction!
What did one bee say to the other bee?
"I love you, honey!"
What does the chicken say when he didn't understand something?
"What hap-HENd?"
A chicken is delicious.
What is a cow?
What do you call a female octopus? An octopussy.
What do you say to your pony when it's being wild?
Stop horsing around!
What did the bull say when got hit in the special area? "Damn my bulls!" Ahahaha
What did the frog order?
A diet Croak!
A few days ago, I phoned up the spiritual leader of Tibet, and he sent me a large goat with a long neck. Turns out I phoned Dial-a-Llama.
Julie: What's the difference between a chimp and a pizza?
John: I don't know.
Julie: Remind me not to send you to the store...
What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pork chop.
My grandpa has the heart of a lion,
and a lifetime ban from the zoo.