Animal jokes
What do you call a cow in a moving van?
A: A mooving cow.
Why do crabs never give to charity?
Because they're all shellfish.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Why?
To get to the gay kid's house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
Why did the dog cause the fight?
Because it was a bulldog.
Nothing lasts long these days!
As Confucius says, "Hare today, gone tomorrow!"
Why did the chicken cross the road? To run from poachers.
This rat did the most amazing thing ever; it was pretty radical, dude.
Q: What is a clown’s favorite fish?
A: The clownfish.
What's big, black, and touches children?
Harambe.
Why was the Cheetah not allowed to do tests?
Because it always cheated.
What did one squirrel say to the other squirrel?
"Stop staring at my nuts."
What makes a raccoon 🦝 very rich?
Its rings!
What is the best la?
A koa-la!
How do lions 🦁 like their steak?
"Roar!"
I told my kids to smile with the monkeys in the open zoo.
They never got together at all.
Why do risky people have cats?
So they have 10 lives with them.
What did the evil chicken lay? Deviled eggs! Get it guys? "Devil-ed" eggs! 😆
Did you know the giraffe’s hooves are the size of dinner plates? Too bad they would have nothing to put on them!
Why did the koala cross the road to get to the other gum tree?
If I'm holding a cricket ball in each hand, what do I have?
A really fucking huge cricket.