Animal jokes
What is a fish's favorite fruit/vegetable?
An avacodo.
What do you call a cross between a gorilla and a monkey? -- A cross.
What's a cow's favorite newspaper?
The Daily M0Os.
Oh my frickig god, cleared my history and forgot my password for this, 3th account!
What animal do you always find at a baseball game? A bat.
What's the difference between an orphan and a dog?
A dog gets adopted.
big gay balls
What happens when a cow masturbates?
Beef jerky.
Why can't we see a camel?
Because it's camelflauged!
When your mom comes in at night then sees your... sleeping, but sees something moving, so she gets a chair and whacks it, then she says, "I thought it was a mouse."
What do you call a flying octopus?
An octocopter! 🚁
Do you know pigeons die when they have sex?
I mean, the one I fucked died.
Why did the dog walk out at night?
To scare his people!
Why couldn’t the kitten watch the movie? It had a violent cat-e-gory.
What pictures did turtles take?
Shell-fies!
What's black, white, and "read" all over?
A zebra after a lion is full.
My dog is a genius... I asked him what is two minus two, he said nothing.
If you are wondering where the dog went, I don't know. Maybe he went barking around.
So there was this girl and her horse would not stop following her, so she said, "Stop horsing around!"
Get it? "Horse-ing."
Why did the turkey cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn't chicken!
Why don’t eagles 🦅 like fast food?
Because they can’t catch it!
What’s the difference between a dirty bus terminal and a lobster with implants?
One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.