What did the duck do when he crossed the road?
The duck jumped into a pool of ant piles! đđ
Animal Jokes
What does a dog do in a dresser?
It pants!
I complained to my dad why he never took me to the zoo.
He said if they want you, theyâll come get you.
How do cats relieve themselves in front of people? By licking their puss.
How do you get a monkey off the wall?
You jerk him off!
Do you know why dinosaurs can't eat hyenas?
Because they're dead! The last thing they ate was some rock.
What do you get when you mix a grizzly bear and milk? Mauled.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because she wanted to have an affair with the rooster.
Monkeys are big, but they sure can swing very lightly.
Why shouldnât you play cards in Africa?
'Cause thereâs too many cheetahs.
Kermit the Frog and Fozzie Bear were having a picnic.
Fozzie said, "Do you know where Ms. Piggy is? I haven't seen her all day."
Kermit said, "I don't know, but this extra bacon cheeseburger sure tastes great."
My cousin said he wonders why people have sex with animals, and now I canât stop thinking about it.
Olâ McDonald had a farm e-I-e-I-oh.
Mary had a great big ram, his fleece was white as snow, when on hands and knees our Mary went, his wad was sure to blow.
Month by month her belly grew, increasing in its girth, and when five months had flown by, our Mary did give birth.
And Mary had a little lamb, a little lamb, a little lamb...
Why is the cheetah so bad at hide-n-seek? Because every time she hides, she will always [be] spotted.
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar. The man orders a beer, one for him and one for the giraffe.
After they finish their drinks, the giraffe falls over, and the man gets his stuff and heads for the door.
The bartender says, "Stop! You can't leave that thing lying on the floor!"
The man says, "Mate, that's not a lion, it's a giraffe."
What's the difference between a fish and a car?
You can tune a car... but you can't TUNA fish! x3
A man was about to go into the bar with his dog when he realized the sign said, âNo pets allowed!â He was about to walk away when another guy walked up with his dog. The 2nd man put on dark shades and said, âJust pretend you're blind!â He walked in with his dog, got a drink, then left.
The 1st man did the same thing, but when he walked in, the bartender said, âYou know your âguide dogâ is a chihuahua, right?â
The man said, âThey gave me a damn Chihuahua?!â
Cow: *can't be milked for 20 years*
9/11:
My sis a fat cow.
What did the cheetah tell the other cheetah when they had a test?
"Cheetah, cheetah!"
