Animal jokes
What goes boo in a car with no lips?
Why don't chickens and sheep get along?
Because they have beef between them.
Q: If cats have cat babies, dogs have dog babies, and tigers have tiger babies, what do fish have?
A: Eggs.
Did you hear about the nasty tuna fish?
He was rotten to the albacore.
What’s the hardest part about being friends with a turtle?
Getting them to come out of their shell.
Memes
Hor- wait what the hell is that
What did the pig say when he was in the sun?
I'm bacon.
If a chicken flies into the plane and the plane crashes, whose fault is it?
A: The driver's. Chickens can't fly.
Why don’t alligators grow up to 15 feet?
They only have 4.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh f-i-s-h (and the eye).
Why did the dog want a kiss? Because he can see his knees.
What's a woodpecker's favorite kind of jokes?
Knock knock ones.
While I was walking on the road, a cat crossed my road, and 5 min later I found it fell in the gutter.
Q: What's the similarity between a dog and a bed?
A: I can jump on my bed. A: And I use a pillow on both of them.
Why can't antelopes get married?
Because they can't elope.
I love my dog and all dogs.
What do you call a hippopotamus that stands out from the crowd?
A hipster!
What chicken crossed the road? The donkey of the moneys.
Idiot 1: Why are cows good in math?
Idiot 2: I don't know why.
Idiot 1: Because they have built-in cowculators!
Why did the Texas cow own its own dachshund?
The cowboy told it to "get along little doggie."
What do you call a wild party in a bamboo forest?
Panda-monium!