Animal jokes
What chicken crossed the road? The donkey of the moneys.
What do you call a cow that no one likes? The mooser.
What's a woodpecker's favorite kind of jokes?
Knock knock ones.
What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pork chop.
A chicken is delicious.
Goosebumps
What do you call a female octopus? An octopussy.
What did the bull say when got hit in the special area? "Damn my bulls!" Ahahaha
Why are fish smart?
They live i a school.
Why don't chickens and sheep get along?
Because they have beef between them.
If a chicken flies into the plane and the plane crashes, whose fault is it?
A: The driver's. Chickens can't fly.
Q: What's the similarity between a dog and a bed?
A: I can jump on my bed. A: And I use a pillow on both of them.
Why can't antelopes get married?
Because they can't elope.
I love my dog and all dogs.
A grasshopper walked into a bar and sat down at the counter.
The bartender looked at him and said, "We have a drink named after you." The grasshopper replied, "Who names a drink Steve?"
What do you call a hippopotamus that stands out from the crowd?
A hipster!
Did you hear about the nasty tuna fish?
He was rotten to the albacore.
What do you call a stabbed pig?
Porkchopped.
What is a pig's favorite Food Network channel?
Pork Chopped!
Hah, got 'em (I guess)!
What did the pig say when he was in the sun?
I'm bacon.
What did the cow say to the other cow?
Moo you fine.
What’s the hardest part about being friends with a turtle?
Getting them to come out of their shell.