Animal jokes
If I had a dollar for every gender, I would have 2 dollars and a bunch of counterfeits.
What do you call an idiotic cow?
A mis-steak!
Q. How does an ISIS terrorist practice safe sex?
A. He marks the camels that kick.
I am a sheep.
What did the zoo say to the snow ❄️? Get lost!
What did the chicken say when he crossed the road?
Quack!
Black dog is gay.
What does a stray cat/dog have in common?
Both of them don't have a home!
What's the hardest part when making skimmed milk?
Throwing the cow across the lake.
How do fish get to school?
By the octobus.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Grounded beef.
Why do orphans love dogs?
Because dogs stay with them.
What do you call a herd of cows pleasuring themselves? Beef strokin’ off!
Why can't a dodo fly? Cus it suicided when it saw you will be born soon.
My cat is red and brown and her bones are crunchy, so does that mean she is a Kit Kat?
"Déjà moo": The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
What da dog doin'?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he wanted to get to the other side.
I should name my dog Ariana Grande.
That way I could say that I fucked Ariana Grande.
What is a rabbit's favorite type of jewelry?
Carats.