Animal jokes
How do cats masturbate? They lick they pussy.
How do you get a monkey off the wall?
You jerk him off!
Monkeys are big, but they sure can swing very lightly.
I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him. That's what I get for buying a pure bred dog.
I was reading a great book about an immortal dog the other day.
It was impossible to put down.
A grasshopper tries playing cricket. It failed and got eaten by the bat.
A special quote: “No, Mackenzie! You're the savage beast!”
Why shouldn’t you play cards in Africa?
'Cause there’s too many cheetahs.
What kind of bees produce milk? Boobees.
What's the difference between a puppy and an orphan?
Puppies get adopted.
You know why eggs can't tell jokes?
They crack each other up!
What do you call a rabbit with a big ass?
A BUNny.
A goose with no beak, and you eat?
Goose beak salad, file! :)
What happened to the cheetah that took too many baths?
The cheetah became spotless!
My favorite animal is a cheetah, so I hope the jokes are good.
My dog died today. 😥
Being a police officer in Nunavut must be so fun. They get to play Cut the Rope on the job all the time!
Why did the Dinosaur cross the road?
'Cause the Chicken wasn't born yet.
What's the smartest insect? A spelling bee!
You might think that tigers or lions are the best jumpers, but in my opinion, it's emos, because some of them are still in the air.