Always jokes
Video game company names always make me make puns I didn't intend to.
Why was the kinetic sand always happy?
Because it was kinetic with its friends!
In what city do you always lose your mum? Mumbai.
Louis' IQ is like his running; always two points below average.
Why is basketball such a messy sport?
'Cause the players are always dribbling everywhere!
me now & go look at one of my first posts on here
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.
Why is a brick always hard? Because the Indians played with it enough.
Stephen Hawking always wins musical chairs, as he’s always sitting down.
Bf: Do you love me?
Gf: Most of the time.
Bf: Well, it's either yes or no.
Gf:...
Bf: Well, when is it that you don't love me?
Gf: 2:30 to 4:00. Every time when you go to the river an hour, then it takes me a half hour to love you again.
Bf: Why?
Gf: 'Cause you always see that OTHER GIRL.
Bf: MY LOVE! That other girl is my sister!!!
Gf: Ohh...
Tip for Kindness for the day.
Tip one. Always speak up for yourself.
Yes, letting someone else speak up for you is nice but also speak up for yourself, be brave if a mean bully comes along. Speak up for yourself and others if they need it. Best, Gwen
What's the difference between a hoe and a sidechick? The hoe want different meals, the sidechick always gone be that one crumb on the side of the plate for debate 💯.
What do squirrels and men have in common?
They always want a nut.
Why can't Pooh Bear catch a date?
Because he is always talking about his honey.
I will always remember my dad's last words...
Oh wait, I never knew them.
I’m like an escalator because I’m always letting people down.
Why do orphans always have the newest iPhone?
Because it doesn’t have a home button.
I was always told I’m too small to ride, but every girl I’ve been with rated me a 9.5.
Why do cheetahs always win?
Because they cheat!
Why do pedophiles never win a race? Because they are always coming in a little behind.
I always hated being born a Catholic as a kid. The way you have to keep kneeling down, bending over, and standing up all within a few minutes of each other while at church. I was always thinking, “For God’s sake, just pick a position and fuck me!”