Q. What do Danielle Smith and a squirrel have in common?
A. They both always have a mouth full of nuts.
Rape is always unequivocally wrong.
Unless it's an AISH worker. Then you give her anal.
If the American Dream exists, why is it always filmed in Canada?
Roses are red, CEO's are white, Patrick Mahomes says, the refs are always right.
Why is Santa's sack always full?
Because he only comes once a year.
Why don’t rappers ever get lost?
They always have a SICK FLOW to follow.
I'm always willing to go down on a handicapped girl.
Momma always told me to eat my vegetables.
I'm always willing to go down on a special needs girl.
Momma always told me to eat my vegetables.
A German priest went to America for a few months. Unfortunately for him, he did not speak the best English. He stayed with a beautiful, young single woman who worked at a nearby orphanage.
Every day, he visited her in the orphanage, and he always brought her small gifts, and of course to the young children.
The young woman thought the priest was flirting with him, and she knew he was not married. She left that thought in the back of her mind for a few weeks.
A few weeks later, she finally brought up her nerve to ask him. She asked him why he always visited her, and why all the gifts for her and the children.
Of course, due to his bad English, he struggled a bit with his sentence, but he said in his thick German accent, "Vell, I visit you and your, your littles, because the kind girls here are very beautiful and cute."
She was quite amused, and blushed a bit. The man was also a bit nervous, and appeared to want to leave her office.
The Priest then excused himself, and went to read the orphans a bedtime story.
He then muttered to himself, "Ach, she's catching on to me! Stupid! Zey are called little girls and boys, not child boys and girls."
My girlfriend's sister told me to write her a poem. This is what I came up with:
roses are red, violets are blue, if you ever feel alone, I'm always watching you.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue, there's always someone who's better than you.
Did you get your phone from the desert? No wonder why your texts are always so dry.
Why don’t rappers play hide and seek?
Because good luck finding someone who’s always in the booth!
Why are most vacuums gay?
They’re always coming out of the closet.
Why do disabled people make good golfers?
Because they're always handicapped.
Why don’t rappers tell secrets?
Because they always end up DROPPING it.
Why don’t rappers play hide and seek?
Because good rappers always stand out!
Why do orphans always have the newest iPhone?
Because it doesn’t have a home button.
House parties are like churches: there's always an underage kid getting fucked somewhere.
Why do rappers make terrible pirates?
Because they’re always DROPPING HOOKS!
