Cancer diagnosis jokes

My friend’s mother was never a font of sympathy, but always the one to see beyond the darkness.

Upon learning about her daughter’s cancer diagnosis she said, “Well honey, at least you’ll lose some weight!”

What's the difference between a child and a cancer diagnosis? At least the cancer grows up and leaves eventually.

If you have cancer, you are gay.

Son: Mom, I did the test and I have cancer!

Mom: YOU HAVE CANCER?!

Son: Mom, as my zodiac symbol...

Mom:....

So I went to the doctor's and the doctor said, "Pick a star sign, any star sign."

So I said, "Aquarius."

And the doctor said, "Nah mate, you've got cancer."

Doctor: I'm sorry, but your surgery will cost a lot of money.

Buuuuut what's this behind your ear?

Oh, it's still cancer.

I walked into the doctor's surgery and he said to me, "Pick a star sign, any star sign." I said, "Capricorn." He said, "Nah, you got cancer."