I don't always roll a joint, but when I do it's my ankle.
there was always that one SPECIFIC person u THOUGHT ruined ur life,but it turns out ur life has always been ruined by u being in it..
"I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying." -Charlie Chaplin
i will always remember my grandfathers last words "ill just check if its poisonous".
This is how my mom always threatens me: I brought you into this world, I can bring you out of it too. That's why I only have 2 siblings left.
I wonder where the bodies are?
Why should you wary of stairs? -- Because they are always up to something.
Why doesn't China have a cricket team?
They always eat the bat
Santa and Bill Cosby's favorite quote " don't be dumb make sure they're numb and always use a condom!"
Why are blind people so good ad being a jedi? They are always swinging a stick
an orphan is like marriage. the kid is always the reason for divorce. the kid always the reason for his parents leaving him
Nurse: Don't worry i'm great with babies. Parents: You are? Nurse: Yea, i always abort them. Parent:... Parent: Your hired
When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say “This boy always had a fat ass”.
My dad always told me I should sing tenor. Ten or twelve miles away
Why do Roman Catholics always call their minister father? because Roman Catholic men between 18 - 29 years old received a free anonymous blowjob inside the confessional booth at the glory hole
When my son was little, he loved to draw. Although he would always rip up the paper whenever there was one little slip up. Too bad he became a tattoo artist.....
I love eating pussy that’s why the animal shelter is always my go to for a good meal
Why was the Tower of Pisa always leaning. Cuz it wanted better accuracy than the Twin Towers
They always say u r what u eat! So I’d be nothing That sounds abt right
Q: why do depressed people alway have colored hair?
A: that’s as close they can get to die
I've always been suicidal ,some might say why haven't I actually done the act ,I'll just say well I hate myself to much so I though I stay around for the punishment of staying alive
