Always jokes
Why is the Rubik’s cube record holder always American?
Because Americans are really good at separating colors.
Why did the rapper become a chef?
Because he was always COOKING UP RHYMES!
People always call me heartless. That’s not true. I have a heart... it just wasn’t meant for you.
Why do golfers always bring a spare pair of pants? Because they always get a hole in one!
Women will always be superior to men. After all, they are FEmale (Fe - iron, male - man).
You know why they call her Wonder Woman?
She's always wondering where she parked her invisible jet.
Why don't rappers ever get lost?
Because they always know where the BEAT is.
Thomas Montgomery would eat his fillet of fish in bed every night. He had fillet of fish bedding and everything. His roommates always asked him, "Why are you eating your fillet of fish in bed?" He wouldn't reply.
His family took him to the best psychologist in the field. Thomas continued emptying his bank account on fillet of fish to eat in bed. His friend said one day, took a picture of Thomas and told him to say cheese. They laughed and went there separate ways. Then in bed that night, Thomas kept on thinking to himself, "I never said cheese before someone snapped my picture." He repeated it again. The next day he thanked his friend, "Fillet in him feel better."
Emos,
They're always a cut above the rest.
One day I visited my friend in a hospital.
I remember when I spoke, "You know, sometimes it's reaching its peak and its lowest state, but I know you'll always end like the others at calming and straight!"
Yes, I talked about the heart monitor beside him.
Why are orphans so fond of shadows?
They're the only thing that accompanies them always.
A man tried to tame a horse, but always failed. The news spread around town that this man couldn’t tame one single horse.
One day, the man went to a bar, where a fairly old man sat next to him. “Well partner!” He began. “I guess your dream horse is more of a NIGHT-MARE!”
Why do Indian guys never have gfs? Because they always pick curry and biryani over girls.
I was always told as a kid that I have to pick between being a programmer and an English teacher.
They said: you can't be a "pro-grammer nazi."
Few jokes (sorry if they have already been used).
1 I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
2 Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because he always has a great fall.
3 Have you heard the one about the skunk? Never mind, it really stinks.
4 It's always windy in a sports arena. All those fans.
5 What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!
6 Comic Sans walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your type here."
7 What's the easiest way to get straight As? Use a ruler.
8 Why were they called the Dark Ages? Because there were lots of knights.
Why are most vacuums gay?
They’re always coming out of the closet.
Why did the rapper always carry a map?
Because he was afraid of getting LOST in the BARS.
My friend Richard is always bullying all the little kids in the neighborhood. He is such a dick.
I always wonder what girls are thinking about. Maybe balls.
Why was the cheese always so confident? Because it had such a "gouda" self-image.