Always jokes

I don't always like to tell dwarf jokes. But when I do, I like to keep them short.

I don't like the word "gun".

Whenever I say it, people always get triggered.

Why can't a cheetah play hide and seek?

Because he's always spotted.

Why do Mexicans always cross the border in twos?

Because the sign says "No Tres passing."

As a child, my mother always told me she was going horse riding. My whole life changed when I found out she was under the horse.

Why are people in Japan always skinny?

Because last time there was a "Fat Man", a whole city disappeared.

Are you suicide, cause you’re always on my mind?

Why do bees have sticky hair? They always use honeycombs.

Why do pedophiles never win a race?

Because they are always coming in a little behind.

Why do trees never call emo kids?

The emos always hang up on them.

My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles' elbow.

I won't reply to every joke today because I want to say thanks to everyone for making funny jokes here. Every time I have a bad day (almost everyday), I always go here and read relatable jokes. It makes me happy and it's making me less anxious. I am really stressed with my school work and everything; I feel that I'm being left alone. Everyone compares me to others and all I can do is listen. I don't get enough sleep because of it... Reading these jokes entertains me and makes me laugh so hard.

I apologize for my grammar.

As a little boy, I walked in on my parents having intercourse one night, and of course, my parents stopped and sent me back to bed.

The next day my dad tells me, "Don't worry son, I wasn't hurting mommy, we were just trying to make you a little sister."

So, when I was young I always wanted a pet. I then looked at my father and asked, "Could you do mommy doggy style next time? I want a puppy."

Why does Peter Pan always fly? Because he Neverlands.

I used to be a banker but I lost interest.

Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? She always ran away from the ball.

Why can’t bikes stand? Because they are two tired (Too tired).

What story does an orphan always get kicked out of? Home Depot.

Q: Why should you stand in the corner if you get cold?

A: It’s always 90 degrees.

So I ran into a woman the other day who says her vaginas is like a lottery ticket. She said it's because you have to be lucky to hit it... I thought it's because she was always scratching it.

Why do prostitutes love servicing zombies? They always leave a tip.

My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better, so I sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wife's broken leg.