Always jokes
How do you know when you're disliked?
When they always give you the camera for group photos.
Why is Stephen Hawking not scared of anyone?
His wheelchair always backs him up.
The mailman came to drop the mail off.
Me (son): I went and told my mommy that daddy is home.
Mommy tells me, "You got no daddy."
Then I say, "I hear you always call the mailman daddy."
Why do trees always gotta leave me hanging?
Step on your small sister's foot, she will always open her mouth like a dustbin.
Took me about 15 seconds of staring in confusion to figure out how the illusion worked
Do you have a sunburn, or are you just always this hot?
My 3 year old sister kept saying, "I like your cut, G." Every time she does, I dodge and close my eyes, but she's the one who always ends up running.
Why are gay people bad at hide and seek?
Because they're always coming out of the closet.
He never has a bad day because he always wakes up on both sides of the bed.
I've always wondered how it would feel to put Hellen Keller in a room full of doorknobs... but no doors.
Stairs are bad, because they are always up to something.
Once a mustang, always a mustang. - Mr. Shaw
Girls are like blackjack.
I always want 21 but end up hitting on 14.
How do you stop all homophobic heterosexual white men from using all public men's restrooms at a rest area?
Make sure that all public men's restrooms at the rest area are always occupied with gay men that have long and thick big cocks, regardless of skin color.
What is the difference between a woman and ice? The ice always comes back.
Whenever I order coffee, I always get the depresso with extra depresso sauce.
Why do Emos always wear black like ninjas?
Because they're always cutting.
Never compare an orphan to an Apple because the Apple always gets picked.
We split because she would always say I never listen, or something like that.
My girlfriend's sister told me to write her a poem. This is what I came up with:
roses are red, violets are blue, if you ever feel alone, I'm always watching you.