Girls are like blackjack.
I always want 21 but end up hitting on 14.
My girlfriend's sister told me to write her a poem. This is what I came up with:
roses are red, violets are blue, if you ever feel alone, I'm always watching you.
I feel bad for all American Clash Royale players.
They always start with two towers downed.
I've always wondered how it would feel to put Hellen Keller in a room full of doorknobs... but no doors.
Stairs are bad, because they are always up to something.
Once a mustang, always a mustang. - Mr. Shaw
Once a blonde, always a blonde. 😂
Q. What do Danielle Smith and a squirrel have in common?
A. They both always have a mouth full of nuts.
What animal do you always find at a baseball game? A bat.
Me: Hey friend!
Friend: Yes?
Me: What is the missing sense? Seeing, smelling, _, tasting, hearing.
Friend: Touch.
Me: What do you spawn on Minecraft always? (jk only 99.99%)
Friend: Grass.
Me: And you get?
Friend: Touch grass.
Gays are always welcome on my Redneck Party Bus. NOT!
I'm always hanging in there.
Hanging on the wall.
"Prostitutes love their jobs; they're always having a blast!"
My ex died in an anchorage accident.
She always was a sleeping hooker.
Why is a brick always hard? Because the Indians played with it enough.
I'd make a masturbation joke.
But they always get out of hand.
I always win arguments against my handicapped girlfriend; she can't stand for herself.
What’s the worst thing about being suicidal?
The school shooter will always spare you.
Q: Why was 10 afraid?
A: Because he was always between 9/11.
I can always tell if someone is lying just by looking at them.
I can also tell if they are standing.
