Always jokes
How do you know when you're disliked?
When they always give you the camera for group photos.
Why do trees always gotta leave me hanging?
The mailman came to drop the mail off.
Me (son): I went and told my mommy that daddy is home.
Mommy tells me, "You got no daddy."
Then I say, "I hear you always call the mailman daddy."
Once a blonde, always a blonde. 😂
My 3 year old sister kept saying, "I like your cut, G." Every time she does, I dodge and close my eyes, but she's the one who always ends up running.
Memes
Shrimp posture
Why are gay people bad at hide and seek?
Because they're always coming out of the closet.
Do you have a sunburn, or are you just always this hot?
He never has a bad day because he always wakes up on both sides of the bed.
Once a mustang, always a mustang. - Mr. Shaw
I've always wondered how it would feel to put Hellen Keller in a room full of doorknobs... but no doors.
Stairs are bad, because they are always up to something.
What is the difference between a woman and ice? The ice always comes back.
Girls are like blackjack.
I always want 21 but end up hitting on 14.
Why do people who get shot in the head always become therapists?
They are more open-minded.
Whenever I order coffee, I always get the depresso with extra depresso sauce.
My girlfriend's sister told me to write her a poem. This is what I came up with:
roses are red, violets are blue, if you ever feel alone, I'm always watching you.
Why is Stephen Hawking not scared of anyone?
His wheelchair always backs him up.
What animal do you always find at a baseball game? A bat.
How do you annoy Pinocchio?
Ask him, "Do you always tell lies?"
Me: Hey friend!
Friend: Yes?
Me: What is the missing sense? Seeing, smelling, _, tasting, hearing.
Friend: Touch.
Me: What do you spawn on Minecraft always? (jk only 99.99%)
Friend: Grass.
Me: And you get?
Friend: Touch grass.