Always jokes

What do you call a dude that is always high and gets higher than everyone else in the family? The alpha pothead!

I played Rock Paper Scissors with my friend Enyaw. I cba with jokes basically me and Enyaw always scissor.

My dad is really angry at me for kicking the balls. He's the one that told me always aim for them. Is that why I don't have a brother?

Why is Stephen Hawking not scared of anyone?

His wheelchair always backs him up.

The mailman came to drop the mail off.

Me (son): I went and told my mommy that daddy is home.

Mommy tells me, "You got no daddy."

Then I say, "I hear you always call the mailman daddy."

Why do trees always gotta leave me hanging?

How do you know when you're disliked?

When they always give you the camera for group photos.

Never compare an orphan to an Apple because the Apple always gets picked.

We split because she would always say I never listen, or something like that.

My sister told me only onions make you cry, so I always hit her back when she hit me, but I hit her with a shoe only to catch her cry.

My 3 year old sister kept saying, "I like your cut, G." Every time she does, I dodge and close my eyes, but she's the one who always ends up running.

Why are gay people bad at hide and seek?

Because they're always coming out of the closet.

Do you have a sunburn, or are you just always this hot?

Step on your small sister's foot, she will always open her mouth like a dustbin.

He never has a bad day because he always wakes up on both sides of the bed.

I've always wondered how it would feel to put Hellen Keller in a room full of doorknobs... but no doors.

Stairs are bad, because they are always up to something.

Once a mustang, always a mustang. - Mr. Shaw

What animal do you always find at a baseball game? A bat.

What’s the worst thing about being suicidal?

The school shooter will always spare you.