What's the similarity between women and car parking spaces? The good ones are always taken, and sometimes when nobody's looking, you slip in the disabled one
What animal gets easily offended? The chicken; they always get roasted.
So I ran into a woman the other day who says her vaginas is like a lottery ticket. She said it's because you have to be lucky to hit it... I thought it's because she was always scratching it.
What do you call a porn star that always goes back for more?
Craven Morehed.
My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better so i sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wifes broken leg.
How does a fish always know how much they weigh? -- Because they have their own scales.
Why was Cinderella banned from playing sports? -- Because she always ran away from the ball.
Why do people not play uno with Mexicans... because they are always stealing the green cards
People always told that if you killed a murderer that there would be the same number of murderers. Why stop at one?
I don't think my gf likes it when I take my schizophrenia meds because she always goes away when I take them.
I hate child murderers there always so high-pitched.
Why is the lesbian lifestyle so expensive? -- They're always eating out.
... and they buy Rolexes for their neighbors, because they wanna watch.
Why is it that when Donald Trump and Melania make love she is always on top?
Donald Trump can only F@#k up.
Whenever I have a one night stand I always use protection
A fake name and fake phone number.
Why is Helen Kellers child blind too? She always fed it with a fork!
How do you stay warm in a cold room?
You go to the corners. It's always 90 degrees
rizz
are you a biographer cause i picture us toghether can i take a picture of you for i can show santa what i want for christmas No pen No paper you still draw my attention you know what i hate about math they always talk about x and y but not about u and i
Why can’t the employee tell dirty laundry 🧺 jokes?
Because they always come out clean.
Why don't midgets use tampons? Answer: They are always tripping over the string.
What fruit always feels depressed?
A blue-berry.
