1. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.
2. Oh you’re talking to me, I thought you only talked behind my back.
3. My name must taste good because it’s always in your mouth.
My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better so i sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wifes broken leg.
What is a pirate's favorite letter?
You'd think it'd be R, but really his heart will always belong to the C.
What's the similarity between women and car parking spaces? The good ones are always taken, and sometimes when nobody's looking, you slip in the disabled one
What animal gets easily offended? The chicken; they always get roasted.
So I ran into a woman the other day who says her vaginas is like a lottery ticket. She said it's because you have to be lucky to hit it... I thought it's because she was always scratching it.
How does a fish always know how much they weigh? -- Because they have their own scales.
Why was Cinderella banned from playing sports? -- Because she always ran away from the ball.
Why do people not play uno with Mexicans... because they are always stealing the green cards
Teacher tests Little Johnny, “OK, Johnny, create a sentence which starts with ‘I’.” Little Johnny confidently starts, “I is...” Teacher snaps, “No, Little Johnny. You must always say, ‘I am’.” Little Johnny sighs, “Yes ma’am. ‘I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.’"
People always told that if you killed a murderer that there would be the same number of murderers. Why stop at one?
I don't think my gf likes it when I take my schizophrenia meds because she always goes away when I take them.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
I hate child murderers there always so high-pitched.
Whenever I have a one night stand I always use protection
A fake name and fake phone number.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Why is Helen Kellers child blind too? She always fed it with a fork!
What do you call a porn star that always goes back for more?
Craven Morehed.
How do you stay warm in a cold room?
You go to the corners. It's always 90 degrees
rizz
are you a biographer cause i picture us toghether can i take a picture of you for i can show santa what i want for christmas No pen No paper you still draw my attention you know what i hate about math they always talk about x and y but not about u and i
