As a 13 year old, online dating is a tough thing.
Every time I meet someone new, they end up in jail.
I have just started a sexual relationship with a blind woman. It's very rewarding, but quite challenging.
Took me ages to get her husband's voice right.
Why does Bill Clinton wear boxers? -- To keep his ankles warm.
"Son, I found a condom in your room."
"Gee, thanks, Grandpa!"
"Why are you calling me Grandpa?"
"Because I couldn't find it yesterday."
Yo mama so old, she knew Burger King when he was a prince.
An old teacher asked her student, "If I say, 'I am beautiful,' which tense is that?" The student replied, "It is obviously past."
Old mathematicians never die; they just lose some of their functions.
Why were the Middle Ages called the Dark Ages?
Because there were too many knights.
