Aed jokes
What is the difference between a detective company and a man with eyes on his butt?
One has a private eye, and the other has eyed privates.
What do you call a deaf person?
Whatever you want!
What is a photographer's favorite card game?
SNAP!
What's red and got makeup all over?
A Bill Cosby victim.
What's a cow's strongest part of their body?
Their "calves"!
Why?
Why do orphans not like laptops?...
They don't have a homepage.
Why is it okay to hit an orphan?
Not like they can tell their parents.
When a deaf person is on trial, is it really considered a hearing?
What do a brand new house, me, and new jewelry box have in common?
We're all empty on the inside.
What do you call a blind kid with an eye patch and no arms?
Names.
A B C D E F G H I see a bitch in front of me.
I wanted to play Fruit Ninja, but remembered I don’t have a phone. Guess I gotta draw fruit on my arm!
What do Shrek and onions have in common?
*LAYERS*
I think about my life, and then I think about death. I prefer death. If you ask me, life is just a time when you die. Basically, death is life, meaningless 0-0.
I am an orphan...
Teacher says, "Okay class, today we're gonna talk about what everyone wants to be when they grow up." Little Johnny, how about you go first."
Little Jonny: "I want to be a speed bump when I grow up!"
I've recently been treated with Asthma and have been prescribed penicillin. One day I was taking it and a man screaming "SUIII" came into the room and stole it! He thought the penicillin would give him penalties. I couldn't breathe, shame on you Penaldo for ruining my life!
Yo, dad is so stupid, he brought the milk after two years, and he said, "Oh, sorry son. I'm going back to the store. Bye."
Dulux have created a new type of paint. It's called "Sue Grey." It covers up everything.
I wish I knew life, but my dad said it was a mistake to begin with.