Aed jokes
Did you hear about the young man who brought floral arrangements in the shape of a life jacket on his friend’s funeral who drowned last week?
Everyone was furious, but he explained, “It’s what he would have wanted.”
Why are Indian people bad at Monopoly?
Because whenever they hit the corner, they build a shop.
Roses are red, violets are blue, You told me I'm ugly, nah, you look like a monkey!
I knew a guy who would always claim he had a buddy with an IQ of 1.
It turns out he was just looking in the mirror.
Why was Trump banned from music class? He kept putting his finger on D minor.
What was Clinton encouraged to get in college? A minor.
Q. Why aren't midget jokes funny?
A. They always seem to punch down.
When your girlfriend picks you up and decides to prank you by not wearing pants to a seafood restaurant.
Did you get seafood without me?
Q. What happens when a pedophile spills his coffee? A. It leaves an EP-stain.
What’s the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One kneels for salvation.
The other kneels with salivation.
What's the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One is glowing and the other is blowing.
What's the difference between your job and a dead prostitute?
Your job still sucks!
Q. What's the difference between an abortion clinic and a nursery? A. The abortion clinic won't let you take the baby home.
What has 2 or 3 hands and is always right twice a day when it is broken?
A clock.
I thought when my friends called me curvy, it was a compliment, but it turns out they were referring to my spine.
Q. What's red and pink and spins around really fast? A. A baby in a blender.
How do you trick a camel jockey into drinking a bottle of watermelon schnapps?
Pour watermelon seeds into a bottle of watermelon schnapps.
Why does a kid never come home after a fight with their parents? Because they never found the key to the house again.
There's a new Viagra and prune juice diet that's out.
Unfortunately, you can't tell if you're coming or going.
What is the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One reads, the other breeds.
What’s one thing that comes up at the worst possible time and ruins your day?
A period.