Aed jokes

If all women disappeared one day, it would be a pain in the ass.

Marriage is really educational.

When I was single, I didn't even know there was a wrong way to put a fork in the dishwasher.

A failed marriage is like an Avengers movie.

First someone snaps, then half your stuff is gone.

One spelling mistake can completely ruin your marriage.

I accidentally texted my wife, "I’m having a wonderful time. I wish you were her."

When the emo girl is in a movie and the director says, "Cut."

I went to a restaurant and a waiter took my order. She had two black eyes, so I ordered real slow.

Because obviously she doesn’t listen.

I taped a picture of Bill Cosby to my gun, now it's an assault rifle.

What’s the difference between Swifties and rap fans?

One rap fan has a higher IQ than every Swiftie combined.

I wore a purple outfit to school, and some Indian kid called me Thanos, so I called him Vision and tried pulling the red dot off his head.

What do you call a white woman working at an all black company?

Crack/her

A riddle: My enemy is the Joker, I'm black and I help to save Gotham City. Who am I?

What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?

A money manager who counts bars.

Why did the rapper bring a basketball to the concert?

To drop some SLAM DUNKS on the mic!

If LEO were a spice, she’d be flour... BLAND and FORGETTABLE!

Why did the rapper bring a ladder to the concert?

Because he wanted to reach new heights in his performance.

My screen lock is my favorite picture of my wife. When I'm on a 14-hour shift, being miserable, hating my life... I pull out my phone and gaze at the picture of my wife. Then I realize it's better here than at home with her ass.

I have to file a complaint against Spotify because I didn’t see you on my hot singles last week.

You ever notice that the USA could be a part of Russia?

RUSSIA US A

Chuck Norris strangled someone with a cordless phone.

You are like a software update. Whenever I see you, I immediately think, "Not now."