Aed jokes
My cousin just broke up with her boyfriend, and I told her, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of his stuff."
My cousin just broke up with his girlfriend, and I told him, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of her stuff."
It takes a lot of trust for two cannibals to gluck gluck each other. You never know when it's goodbye willy.
There are 206 bones in the human body.
207 when I'm at a nursery.
Don't listen to people when they say you have a dad bod. You don't.
You have a father figure.
A pedophile and a priest run a race.
You can’t beat yourself in a race!
A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going on a cruise. Who gets there first?
Obviously, the lesbian couple; they got their lickety-split. The gay couple was still packing their shit.
What’s a rapper’s favorite type of SHOE?
Ad-lib-idas.
Why did the rapper start a gardening business?
He had mad ROOTS in the game.
Why did the rapper bring a ladder to the studio?
Because he wanted to drop higher bars!
At what point does a joke become a dad joke?
When it disappears and never returns home.
How are women like swimming pools?
They cost a great deal of money to maintain considering the time you spend inside.
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into the school fire and said, "Hot wheels!"
When I was recently standing in front of a huge puddle with my buddy, I remembered how he tricked me a week ago. So I tricked him...
Why did the egg hide?
Because it was a little chicken!
I loved the Twin Towers, it's a shame my dad didn't.
One way to not pick up a girl is to say, “Are you an American school because I wanna shoot kids into you?” I tried it on a girl, and she is now terrified to come near me.
How was I supposed to know she was already pregnant?
Yo mama so dumb, she put a watch in a piggybank and said she was saving time.
How much drugs did Charlie Sheen take?
Enough to kill two and a half men.
Due to her death, you can no longer get a letter from the Queen when you turn 100.
Instead, you now receive a text from Prince Andrew when you turn 14.