Aed jokes
Q: What do you call a skeleton that goes to school but doesn't do any work?
A: Lazy bones.
I know people don’t really like cat puns, but mine are PURRety good.
Did you CATch that one? No? Because you are in a bad mood? You should WISKER those feelings away. We should PAWnder ways to fix your mood. Just remember to keep CLAWing at the problem. I am glad I can help MEW.
There's a new cooking programme on BBC1. The contestants are victims of domestic violence. It's called "Can't Cook... Right Hook."
Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?
So he could get into high school.
If you have a twin sister, do you have the same name? Only if your mom and dad give you the same name.
How are a woman and a car alike? Put something in them and they'll both start.
A blind man once told me he smokes a lot because he has nothing to look forward to. Well, let's just say that I see his point.
Why shouldn't you let a Chinese person play baseball?
'Cause they'll eat the bat!
Donald Trump didn't build a wall because he likes going to islands to touch little girls.
Did you know the Bible has a passage about killing babies by smashing them against rocks?
That's probably because microwaves hadn't been invented yet.
Yo mama so fat Trump built a wall around her and not the border.
Two hats are next to each other. One hat says to the other, "Stay here, I'll go on ahead."
Why did Michael Jackson die?
Because I have a new phone number, and he does not know.
There's a new game in the arcade where kids can hit raging paedophiles with a mallet: Whack-A-Jack, oh!
What do u call a pretty Indian girl?
Bomb bae.
How does a depressed couple say goodbye on the phone?
"No, you hang yourself first..."
My name is Jafar. I come from afar. There's a bomb in my car. Allahu Akbar!
What’s an orphan's favorite food?
: Not home food.
What is the difference between a hoe's birth Daddy and her pimp Daddy?
The first daddy plants the seed in a cunt, and the second reaps the harvest from the cunt.
"Brown bear, brown bear, what do you see?" I see a blind man looking at me.
"Blind man, blind man, what do you see?"
Oh sorry, I forgot you can't see.