Aed jokes

I'd make a joke about epilepsy, but the computer started flashing.

Some kid in a wheelchair called me fat.

I told her, "Do a wheelie!"

Q: What do you call a gay cowboy?

A: A jolly rancher.

Q: How can you tell if a Western is gay?

A: All the good guys are hung.

Want a kiss, daddy? Want a blow job?

Q: What did the stop light say to the other stop light?

A: Stop looking, I’m changing!

What's the difference between a guy and a woman? They fall from different heights.

Why did the orphan go to the woods? To take a *what*?

Hey selfish king, I see you need a girlfriend ;)

What’s the difference between 69 and High School?

In 69 you usually only kiss one c*nt and look at one a**hole.

Why did the dog cross the road twice?

Because he was trying to catch a boomerang.

Paddy and Murphy are walking down the street when all of a sudden, Paddy falls down a manhole. Murphy shouts down, "Paddy, is it dark down there?"

Paddy shouts up, "Dunno Murphy, I crnt see a fecking thing!"

I wanted to play Fruit Ninja, but remembered I don’t have a phone. Guess I gotta draw fruit on my arm!

Your momma's so fat, she had to take a selfie using the Hubble telescope.

"Left, center, right, and apolitical, also skeptical, are also a joke."

My mom once ate a full giant cheesecake, and we were walking to our flight back home, and she had to sh*t.

We were walking to the bathroom, and she full on [did it] in front of the carousel. She had a lump of poo in her pants... True story, haha!

What do Shrek and onions have in common?

*LAYERS*

When an orphan takes a family photo, it’s called a selfie.

What type of bee can't make up his mind?

A maybe.

When you are sitting outside at school and this boy comes up to you with a rock in his hand and says, "Do you know where Mrs. Stewart is at?"