Aed jokes
Q: Why did the fly go to the hospital?
A: For the doctor to make it get "butter!"
Last Christmas, I took a picture of your mom.
It's still printing.
The tent pole is up, The canvas is spread, The hell with breakfast, Come back to bed.
Take the tent pole down, Put the canvas away, The monkey had a hemorrhage, No circus today.
I once dated a math teacher. It turned out she was nothing but problems.
Who eats sleeping? A robot.
I am up in the air about becoming a pilot.
Once there was a boat. Its friends said,
"It's time to come back." And the boat said,
"No way. I don't give into pier pressure."
Stephen Hawking isn't actually dead. He is just having an update.
Is Stephen Hawking a physicist now?
No, because he is dead.
If you start at a bait shop, you're an amateur baiter, but once you achieve the highest level, you become a master baiter. Now buy a shrimp boat and become a master baiter on a shrimp boat.
When I die, I want to be shot out of a cannon.
And into a children's birthday party.
Guy feels something on his back.
“Oh God, please let that be a rifle.”
“Nope. I’m just real happy to see you.”
What do you call a country with nukes?
Abomination.
Bank owner: If you want to start a bank account, I need your name.
Guy: Robin
Bank owner: Your last name?
Guy: Debank
Bank owner: Robin Debank?
Guy: Put your hands up and give me all the money!
My neighbor is in the Guinness World Records.
He has had 44 concussions. He lives very close to me.
A stone’s throw away, in fact.
What would a clock look like with no numbers?
Timeless!
What did one gay guy say to the other when they were packing for a trip?
"Want me to pack your shit?"
There are two cows in a field. One says to the other, "I'm cold. Are you cold?"
The other cow says, "Yeah, I'm Fresian."
If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong.
What's a chair's favorite snack?
Chair-ies or Cherries if that's how you wanna spell it .3.