Aed jokes
My grandfather says I’m too reliant on technology. I call him a hypocrite and unplug his life support. 😄😆🔥👍
What's the difference between an orphanage and a supermarket?
People actually want stuff in a supermarket.
Today, my family visited Disneyland. When we got to the hall of fame, I was shocked to find a statue of the BielefeldMan.
The tour guide said, "That’s Lewandisney. He owns the biggest collection of Disney TAP-INS and is a Mickey Mouse clubhouse member." Well done Lewandisney!
Want to know the difference between an orphan and a flower??
Flowers get picked.
Yo mama so stupid, when I said, "Go deep," she dug a hole in the field.
Work
Sister: Hey sis, how are you today?
Me: Oh, good, you?
Sister: Good, 'cause I heard you finally got a good living life.
Women be like if men are gone, Earth would be a better place, (forgetting) women help to create war, weapons, animal and human cruelty, and have helped to enforce laws that oppress them.
What is a cannibal's favorite place to go? An orphanage. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
She needs a flat surface cleaner.
The parentless child stood as her orphanage was blown up by a kamikaze I had rented.
A 9-year-old girl lies on a hospital bed struggling to breathe as she waits for the doctor to come.
The doctor finally comes, and the little girl can breathe much easier after he pulls his cock out of her mouth.
A plane is about to crash into the ocean, and the passengers are freaking out.
A woman stands up, takes off her clothes, and says, "Before I go, is there a man man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, takes off his shirt, and says, "Here, iron this!"
(amazing pick up line) Yoo, what if we got matching tattoos? You get two towers and I get a plane, because I crashed right into your life!
God, those orphans were putting up such a fight, I had to lock 'em in the basement.
I murdered my friend's brother because he kept saying "HEE HEE" like Michael Jackson when I was trying to have a serious conversation. I just found out he was disabled. That's a THRILLER.
My teacher gave me an A in Physics, then she tells me that it turns guys on.
What has two wings and a halo?
A Chinese telephone. (Wing, wing, halo.)
Why did John rape his mother? Because he wanted a brother to play Mario Kart with.
When I finished high school, I wanted to take my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle, but my mom said no.
See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was eighteen, and I could just have his motorcycle.
Don't believe what your school bully tells you.
Always take it with a grain of assault.