Aed jokes
What do you call a titan that can't swim?
TITANic
Yo mama is so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.
Q) What is the ONLY zodiac sign ever to be surgically removed?
A) Cancer.
Why did the Nurse bring a red pen to work? To draw Blood.
Why did the M&M go to school? To be a smartie.
Why did the monkey bring a ladder to school? To be in highschool.
Life is like a penis.
Women make it hard.
So you know there's like dog mixes, right? Like a Snoodle and that stuff, right? So why can't a bulldog and a shih tzu be mixed? 'Cause if they did, it would be called bullshit.
To a Mexican person: When I first met you, I thought you were going to say, "My name is Enrique, I have a job for you."
I am not a nerd ;). I'm just smarter than you.
What's the difference between a gay guy and a freezer? The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They both used their brains to paint the walls.
A kid goes into a restaurant without parents, and a waitress came up and said, "You have to leave; this is a family restaurant."
Everyone has a good heart; they just don't know what to do with it. I say give someone some love. Hate is sooooo stupid. Love is soooo smart!
Boy: Will you remember me in a minute?
Mom: Yes.
Boy: Will you remember me in a day?
Mom: Yes.
Boy: Will you remember me in a year?
Mom: Yes.
Boy: Knock knock.
Mom: Who's there?
Boy: Bitch, you forgot me.
What do you call a cow's facial hair?
A moostache.
Yo mama so stupid, when I said, "Go deep," she dug a hole in the field.
Dad: Come on, David, go dress up like a girl.
David: Isn't that illegal?
Dad: Nah, it isn't illegal if you keep the buttons in.
David: I hate my life.
I got kicked outta the poker game.
They said I was a little cheetah.
I would make a joke about Kobe, but I don't think it would fly very well.
He couldn’t stand it anymore with his sister because he is in a wheelchair.
When a girl was having an asthma attack, Ariana said, "Just keep breathing and breathing and breathin!!!!!"
A priest and Rabbi run out of the orphanage.
Priest: "How the hell did that fire start?"
Rabbi: "I don't know, but what about the children?"
Priest: "Fuck the children."
Rabbi: "Do we have time?"
Priest: "There's always time for something like that."