Aed jokes

What does a tuna, piano, and a tub of glue have in common?

You can tune a piano, but you can't piano a tuna.

But what about the glue? said Bob I. I knew you would get stuck on that!

What did the French Fry 🍟 say to the Hamburger 🍔?

I guess that’s a wrap!

I just busted a nut. A ginger nut.

If you boil a funny bone, it becomes a laughing stock. That's humerus.

What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and my Dad?

Isaac Newton didn’t beat me half to death with a pipe wrench.

A single sentence walks into a bar.

A Nacho has a problem going on, and the Taco says to the Nacho, "Wanna taco 'bout it?"

And the Nacho says to the Taco, "It's nacho problem!"

How many times do you tickle a squid before it laughs?

TEN-TICKLES

Two Trojan warriors were patrolling the streets of Troy at night. It was finally time for their duties to be relieved. When they went back to their houses, one Trojan fell in a puddle. "Nitrogen!" The other called. And the other responded coldly, “Good night.”

I told my friend to watch Naruto. It's been a week since I've seen him. Hope he comes back in one piece.

What's the difference between a homeless person and a car?

Only one gets fuel.

A man says, "I'm flying!" He realizes he was pushed out of a plane.

I have a lot of eggcellent egg puns, get the yolk... Oh come on, don't be hard-boiled!

When the doctor asks you what your zodiac sign is,

You respond: "cancer."

Doctor says: "Well, what a coincidence!"

What’s the best kind of candy to offer at a Pride parade?

Skittles.

How do you get a woman to give head? Force it down her throat and hold the back of her head. Make her gag for a little and then pull out. Do this over and over for 30 seconds or so. If she doesn't open up, choke her and force her mouth open.

Woman aren't human anyways... lol.

What do you do when you see a naked dead girl?

Check your map, you're obviously going in circles.

What’s the best part about raping a blind girl? She’ll never see you coming.

What's the difference between Batman and a gay person?

Batman has no one to call "daddy."

I once dated a math teacher. It turned out she was nothing but problems.