Aed jokes
If a gay white male with blond hair is a prostitute, you will get $175.00 back for a blowjob if you give him $20.00. If you give a can of sauerkraut to a gay white male that is a prostitute with blonde hair and who is also Polish, you will get the money back that he paid for the can of sauerkraut if you wanted him to give you a blowjob. And if you wanted a blowjob from a gay white male that is a prostitute that is Canadian and Polish with blond hair, you will get the money back he paid for the bottle of maple syrup at the grocery store if you wanted him to give you a blowjob. But if you wanted to fuck him up the ass, he will give you the money back that he paid for the can of Crisco and he will also give you the money back that he paid for the box of condoms and he will give you the change back that he paid for the box of tampons that he paid for his baby sister or you could get a free anonymous blowjob at an adult book store.
A girl goes to a Church to confess.
Girl: "Forgive me father for I have sinned."
Priest: "What have you done my child?"
Girl: "I called a man a son of a bitch."
Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bitch?"
Girl: "Because he touched my hand."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he touched my breast."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, father."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)
Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!"
(after a few minutes)
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "But father, he had AIDS!"
Priest: "THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!"
Asian Grading scale: A- Average.
B- Half Average.
C- Stupid idiot!
D- FAILURE! CAN'T EVEN DO CALCULUS!
F- FORGOTTEN FAILURE! CAN'T EVEN GET A JOB AT MCDONALDS!
What do you call a Pakie with a wooden leg?
Shit on a stick.
A scientist discovered water on Mars. Mars 1, Africa 0.
Hears a clean joke: My horse got muddy, so I gave him a bubble bath.
Now hears a dirty joke: Bubbles is the horse next door.
People see this Rolex and they kill themselves.
Motherfucker, that's a suicide watch!
What’s the best part about putting a baby in a blender feet first?
Watching their expression change.
What do you get if you talk to a Down syndrome person face to face at close distance?
Soaked...
What happens when you mess with a farmer? You get the whole ranch.
What's funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clown suit.
Joe Biden is the first president in history to have a vice president on record claiming they believed sexual harassment allegations against him.
I don't know about you, but I think that's a pretty big elephant in the room!
I don't even know why to joke about America, it's a joke itself TO THE FUCKING EARTH!
What's the difference between a cat and a human? About 500 bullets.
Why is the koala not a bear?
It doesn't have the right koalafications.
What does a priest and time have in common? They're both predators.
Jesus is a rock music fan.
Because he likes Nine Inch Nails.
How can you tell if a heterosexual man has been using a computer?
There is sperm on the screen.
What does a bullied kid say during a game of Kahoot?
"I'd like to Kahoot up this school."
How does a paedophile know if he's good at sex?
It'll forever be a mystery because the victims [are] too young to scream his name.