Aed jokes
Today I was asked what I wanted to be, and I said I wanted to be a pinata because I want to be hanged.
How to make white ice cream red... blend a baby into it!
I got in trouble at school today because I played the knife game with a pair of scissors, but I couldn't flip them off because I was missing that finger.
"Learn to fly a plane," they said. "It'll be fun," they said...
Windows could not connect to the Internet, would you like to search online for a solution to this problem?
I was an orphan as a kid, but I have never had a bitch, so I asked this cheerleader to homecoming, and she said, "Mofo, you are only coming to hoco because you need a home to go to!"
Apple created the iPhone X for orphans because they don't have a home.
He was saying jokes, and someone said, "You are on a roll!"
He was in a fight, then a person said, "Stand up for yourself!"
A married woman asked her husband if he saw the future. The husband answered her, "I have no eye, dear."
Why did the school shooter earn extra points?
Because he was on a kill streak.
Are you a ghost train? Because I am going to scream when I ride you.
I just wrote a book on reverse psychology. Do not read it.
Why was the snowman looking through a bag of carrots?
He was picking his nose.
What gets hard when tugged and fits perfectly in between boobs... A seatbelt.
What do you call a student in space?
An astrodent.
What do you call a Fuhrer who's also a fitness coach?
Adolf Fit-ler.
Man: Hi, Doc, I have a problem. I take a shit at 6:00 AM every morning.
Doc: What's wrong with that?
Man: I don't wake up until 8:00 AM.
Dude, if there is a watermelon, shouldn't there be an earthmelon, airmelon, and a firemelon? The elemelons.
My dad is really angry at me for kicking the balls. He's the one that told me always aim for them. Is that why I don't have a brother?