Aed jokes
Suicide really isn't something to joke about, unless it's hanging yourself.
It's a really quicker way to die, and less blood spilled for your mother to clean up.
You think on a airplane when a muslim guy gets on, people look at him and think... "Aw, fuck."
What do you call someone who subscribes to Toast4128 on YouTube?
A very good person.
Your mama is so stupid that she put a ruler under her pillow to see how long she slept.
What do you call a doctor in Panera Bread?
Panera Med.
What did the poo say when it fell out of your bum?
"Your anus looks like my mum's bedsheet which is smelly and covered in poo."
I also just wanted to add that a Goonie's anus looks like my nan's mouth.
Why did the lonely fish get a detention? Because he left the school.
What do emos and guys with a durag have in common? They both have waves, just one is on their arm.
How do you see the difference between a cow and a bull? It’s either one or the udder.
Why did the rooster cross the road?
To Cock-A-Doodle Die. Now you have a rooster pancake. My favorite. ^^
My family was watching Home Alone 2, so whenever Kevin was at the top of the Twin Towers, I threw a paper airplane at the T.V.
Two balls sit inside a bucket. One turned to another and said, "Hey man, boing, are you sentient, too?"
The other one said, "I’m sapient, you are sentient!"
BOINGZINGA!?!
Braille is not that hard to learn, you just got to have a feel for it.
Yesterday I went to a lightbulb party, and it was lit.
What does a clock do when he's still hungry?
He goes back "four" seconds!
What is a doll's favorite dog? A doll-matian.
What happened to the alligator when he held a GPS?
He became a navigator.
What is the chair's favorite person?
A sit-izen.
You should never leave a man hanging.
Unless they are still alive.
What does it mean when a man sits on a boulder instead of on the ground?
A bolder choice.